BeiBei, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. I fully understand where you're coming from, and even though I did get pg once in 5 years, I miscarried at 5 weeks, so I also wonder whether it will ever happen again. After the miracle pg, I thought I was cured, and it would happen again soon, but now it looks like only 2 out of 10 of my eggs actually fertilize so I pretty much know now I need help. The first IVF will always be the hardest to get a BFN from I'm sure because there are such hopes and dreams attached to it. (I'm pretty sure I'll be experiencing it myself in a few days too). I can only pray that you'll feel better soon, and that the next time you'll have an amazing success story for us. I'm thinking of you and I'm sorry you're going through this x