Secondary Infertility - Please Help

[Hummingbird]

Thanks so much for responding Mildez, it's so hard when it's something that you want so much but can't seem to do anything to help the cause.
I haven't actually had a laparoscopy, my doctor seemed to think that the hycosy was enough as I didn't have any problems the first time and thought anything would come up with bloods or the hycosy...Perhaps I will ask about that and the killer cells.
It's just so hard each month having to dust yourself off and try to get positive only for nothing to happen month after month meanwhile everyone around me seems to fall pregnant just by looking at their partners - I am sure this isn't the case and me just feeling sorry for myself
I find myself not wanting to spend time with anyone when I am down about it and haven't even told my family or friends that we've been doing IVF cause I don't want to have to deal with questions and I know that they will tell me just to 'relax' and it 'will happen'....Which clearly doesn't work!

[Mildez]

I was lucky that the relax and it will happen approach worked for us the month before we commenced IVF. At the time I felt like killing anyone that suggested that however and would never suggest that to someone else. Usually if your not pregnant within a certain time there is a problem not to say you wont get pregnant ofcourse just that something ro a few things are not working as they should. You physically can't relax when you want a baby so bad and you know your around ovulation. Even when the years are ticking up you still hope that DTD around O time will produce that miracle BFP. It certainly wont if you don't thats for sure. In the end for us we were set to go with the drugs and the IVF clinic so I just had to wait for AF to start my meds. I was so excited that IVF gave me hope of conceiving as I knew I had good eggs and was a good age (27) it was just the anatomy which was no longer working or thats what we thought. I had lost one tube and my remaining tube was affected with endo and adhesions that after a period of time it was thought that it wasn't working so obviously limited chance of pregnancy happening. The month I conceived was the only month where I didn't care as I felt so positive about having IVF. And I did get pregnant. When I suggested it to my fertility Dr he said that its ridiculous to think when you dont think about it it will happen. He said it was just pure luck.
When I had a lap I had a pelvic infection which was unknown. A hycosy would not have picked that up as my tubes were not blocked. Well only enough to cause an ectopic pregnancy. As one of my tubes was sick it was basically poisoning my uterus which was causing me to not get pregnant and the few times I did I m/c due to the unhealthy environment. When my tube was removed it solved my problem and my next pregnancy was a success. I also know a few ladies that have a really high count of natural killer cells so there body basically attacks any pregnancy that tries to imbed. The funny thing with natural killer cells is that is doesn't seem to affect every pregnancy as the woman I have known have had prior pregnancies before without trouble. There are so many reasons why conception doesn't happen and I guess for some people they never know. But after a period of time I would want to exhaust other avenues to see if that way you can manage something. Once we knew what my problem was we could have a management plan so that was good to know so we could move forward in our journey.
We are about to ttc again. We did try for a year and due to a family situation we stopped but have finally made the decision to try one last time for another child. Hopefully this time it happens quicker.