thread: So sad right now....

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    SA
    129

    So sad right now....

    Just had 24 yr old hubby's sperm tested after 12 month TTC.
    The short version... It says "abnormal findings are significant and warrant referral to fertility clinic."

    I reeeeally didnt want to hear that.

    So i guess it's all uphill from here.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    In the poor house...
    1,565

    CrazyCat - i am so sorry !

    Wishing you all the best

    xoxoxo

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Sorry you got some bad news.
    It can come as a real shock to get news like this
    But perhaps this is just one step closer to having your baby.
    All the best~~

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Vic
    617

    crazycat - it is a crushing blow when you are told that you need to get help to fall pg. Over three years ago, DH and I were told the same thing, with DH's sperm we had a 1 in a million chance of falling pg naturally, and needed icsi (where they pick a 'good' sperm, and inject it directly into one of my eggs), to fall pg. It took us a few months to pick ourselves up and see a FS (fertility specialist) to find out our options, and another 6 months or so after that to start our first round of IVF...it took us a long time to decide that we wanted to go down that pathway.

    Big hugs too to your DH - it will be a really hard time for him as well - I know my DH never thought that it was 'him' that was preventing us from falling pg (and in reality we were to later find out that it was both of us causing probs), and he found it really hard to come to terms with the need to do IVF. I think to that the guys find it hard to talk to mates about it or to other male people that they might normally seek support from. I think that they can also feel guilty for putting 'us' through this.

    Take time to grieve now, but on the positive side, there is IVF and ICSI. Our clinic had a really good councilling program that helped us to see how DH and I would see things from very different perspectives and I found it useful advice when going down this pathway.

    Good luck and wishing you and your DH the best of luck. I know that you will find lots of support here at BB.
    FG

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    Sydney
    61

    Hey CrazyCat,

    i know exactly how you feel. It's very important that you embrace your feelings at the moment and let them take thheir course, let yourself hurt - get it all out, then let yourself be strong.Stong for yourself, your DH and for the bub you WILL eventually be holding in your arms.

    i'd like to share my situation with you, asi thin you can relate: My irregular cycles is what brought me to FS 6 months into TTC only to discover PCOS was the culprit. Well i was given clomid and before i could get a prescription for a second cycle of it DH's results were back...

    It was so bad that i was not allowed to use clomid any longer and ICSI was our only option. FS said that the DH's prob was genetic and could not be helped... stubborn old me decided to research supplements for the poor little swimmers anyway. I put DH on a strict regime and with me on vitex also i conceivedthat month (only to lose my angel via early m/c).

    Devastated, i kept going... still choosing to ignore the horrid news of our fertility. 2 long cycles later i conceived again (no vitex). However it was an ectopic this time.

    I guess what i'm trying to say is, even though you are devasated about your situation still keep the door of hope open in your heart. and just as Farmgirl77 said, there are alternatives.

    I myself am going to give it another 3 months (i have my DH on supps again) and then take the plunge for ICSI. We're not out of the race yet sister!!!
    Last edited by Elzi; January 27th, 2010 at 06:13 PM.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    1,039

    Big . I remember being in exactly your situtation about 5 years ago. We waited a while and eventually ended up doing ICSI. I hope you can get lots of support here at BB - I was so grateful when I found BB at the beginning of my AC journey. Ask lots of questions there is a lot of knowledge here. I agree with FG it can really hit you hard - take your time to grieve. Wishing you all the best for your future TTC
    Now I can tell you ICSI was the best thing to ever happen in our lives, the lab hand picked our gorgeous little boy. DH's sperm was even swimming the wrong way . So take heart marcellus may be right - one step closer to your baby. I am also in SA, so if you need anything PM me
    Rach xx

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    Home, where else??
    1,177

    I'm sorry you have had such horrible news!

    I think maybe your DH will need a lot of support now that he knows the 'problem' is with him.

    Good luck on your TTC journey!!

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    SA
    129

    Ah...it sucks. I am severely scared of doctors. It's a huge fear. So bad...I don't think I could bring myself to go thru any procedures. Even if it meant I get my baby.
    (Yes... I am a bit crazy...especially because.... I work in medical!)
    My poor hubby was a bit shocked, but he seems to be handling it ok.
    He definately feels a little guilty.

    I feel guilty for whinging on here.... I know there are people with a lot more problems and more heart ache than us!
    But thanks for all the replies.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    1,039

    Oh hun
    Don't feel guilty at all! It is a hard thing to deal with and you have every right to be scared. Sometimes it is just the unknown.... If you need any info you know where I am. I had a brilliant FS in Adelaide, helped us through a miscarriage and achieve a successful pregnancy.
    Rach xx

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2005
    in the national capital
    1,682

    Aw hon



    I know that it is hard but try not to think of the worst case scenario in the first instance. There are many factors that affect sperm quality, many of them environmental. Without knowing what the actual "abnormal findings" are it is impossible to say what the next step may be. Also, "significant" tends to just mean that it is out of normal range when it comes to sperm - so it may be that it is something that is easy to sort out.

    Make an FS appointment, get more information - you aren't bound to do anything or submit yourself to any procedures unless you want to.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    Sydney
    61

    CrazyCat,

    Like one person said to me in here, it doesn't hirt to get urs and DH's health up even if supplements etc wont help the problem itself.

    Look into supps for men and give them a go, it takes around 3 months for them to kick in, but in my case it helped in the first month... before my hubby took anything i never got a single bfp, once he started (and i did too) i had 2 within 3 months. And remember i was told nothing could help my DH's situation and any natural preg would be a miracle. You can't lose because at least your hubby will be feeling a lot healthier and if you do eventually feel like you would be ready for something like IVF, his lil swimmers would be in the best condition they can be.

    If you would like to know what i used just let me know and i'll fill you in, also check this page out:

    Male Fertility - 11 Essential Supplements To Increase Male Fertility

    to add to the list they have there i also recommend tribulus terrestris (but careful cos it also increases libido!)

    i personallydon't use all of them stated there and have chosen a select few, ensuring i covered all bases and that they are accessible here.

    All the best my dear