Starting IVF and feel like a number

[Possums]

Hi there...DH and I recently met an IVF Doctor for the first time, ready to register and start treatment. We found the specialist to be very insensitve, not caring, laid back and basically both felt it wasn't a good start! We are excited to move forward, and know that from here we will mainly be dealing with the IVF nurse in our area, before travelling again to see the specialist for the egg collection etc, so it's basically going to be OK.
I just wondered if anyone else has felt like their specialist really didn't care less about their case, that you were just a number, another pay cheque almost? It really felt like he was ticking boxes to get us started and that was it, he didn't ask much about my personal medical history/ectopic pregnancy etc at all. He didn't even know the answers to some of our IVF questions and said the nurse could tell us. He also made some fairly insensitive comments.

[brissie girl]

Hi Possums,
Welcome and good luck on your IVF journey! Although it doesn't sound like you had a very good start..
My advice would be to find another FS if you are not happy with your current one. IVF is a pretty intense journey and you need to feel comfortable and 100% confident in your doctor (and you are also paying them a lot of money!)
The first specialist I saw sounded exactly the same as what you are describing your current FS to be like. He treated my DH and I like a number, he was difficult to make appointments with, he fobbed off our questions and concerns..in short, it was a horrible experience. I persevered for about 4 months with him and then went elsewhere (he also made it very difficult for us to take all of our current test results when we switched doctors - watch out for that one!). My FS now is an absolute darling who I would trust absolutely. Nothing is too much trouble for him. I am so glad I made the decision to switch specialists when I consider just how different my current FS is to my first one.
Remember - you are in charge of your treatment and there is no point in giving all your hard earned money to someone you are not happy and confortable with. Maybe just check and see if there is another FS belonging to the same clinic that you can go to??
Good luck!

[Muppity]

Hi Possum - you aren't my husband by chance are you? I only ask because that was his exact experience with our first FS.

He found her bedside manner appalling and refused to go back to see her. I didn't mind so much because as a scientist I understood what she was talking about and wasn't too concerned about her manner - but he was scared about the whole process and her very clinical approach didn't help.

I agree with Brissie girl - find someone who you are both happy with because it is a hard enough time without not liking your Dr as well.

[JBM]

i am just starting 1st cycle IVF/ ICSI next month and i was really suprised as i expected the fs to be like you explained as a lot of experts are. but ours asked us to call him by first name and was very relaxed and friendly and i am very happy with him, if i was paying all that money to someone i wasn't happy with or had confidence in i would not be happy, are there any alturnatives for you?. i suppose that in some of the bigger cities you may be a number but you shouldn't be made to feel like that . janet

[butterfly_warrior]

Possums, are there any alternatives for you there? It's such an intimate and confronting experience and you need to be 100% confident in your doctor, even though you do spend most of your time dealing with the nurses while cycling. It's your doctor that makes the decisions, and you need to feel that you can trust them, and that they will take your concerns seriously. However, I do realise that you may not have too many options in Port Macquarie.

Even being here in Sydney, I have a doctor that takes a personal interest in my case, knows our history, treats us like regular human beings, jokes around with us and gives us all the time that we need in a consultation. Of course, he's like that with everyone and so is often running up to an hour late (but this doesn't stop him spending an hour with you if that's what you need!).

I do hope it's possible for you to use a different doctor. There's no way I could go ahead with a doctor like that, but that's mostly my history of IVF complications talking there.

I've just been spending a bit of time with google, and while it appears that there's only Sydney IVF in your area, there are two doctors listed there on the web site, perhaps you could try the other one and see if they suit you better?

BW

[myboysmumma]