My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for nearly two years. We recently saw a fertility specialist for the first time. It's not conclusive yet, but it's possible that I can't get pregnant at all for various reasons.
So we are considering other options. This isn't decided, as we are still waiting for some test results, but I thought I may as well do some research.
We are considering surrogacy and would appreciate any experiences or hints and tips from people who have been through the process or know someone who has.
Is it better to do it in India or the US? Ballpark cost? I saw a website that estimated around $25000-35000 USD. How do you find a reputable company in India or US? Googling it brings up loads, but I have no idea how to pick the best place. Are there Aussie agencies that can organise this for us?
How does it work legally in Australia? I know in some European countries they don't recognise you as the biological parent even when you are, you are forever registered as the adopted parent. We would be using our own eggs and sperm.
Any thoughts, suggestions or insights would be appreciated.
Hi Julie. I met a mum to be at an ABA class who's sister was a surrogate for her and her partner. I believe it is legal here but a surrogate cannot be paid. This mum to be was taking medication and pumping to stimulate lactation.
Wishing you all the best in your journey to expand your family.
I suggest you get independent legal advice from a lawyer who specializes in surrogacy law in your State as the law is different in each state.
You will also need someone who specializes in immigration law if you are looking at international surrogacy as sometimes the laws interact in ways you don't expect.
I wish you all the best for your journey to become a family.
don't have the answers to your questions, however I was chatting to a friend & she mentioned she is going to an international surrogacy forum in melb this month. apparently they will have info about surrogacy from different countries (India, Thailand, USA), and couples who have been through the process, specialists from the Ivf field etc. not sure where you are located but might be worth a look? best of luck. xx
I'm in Brisbane so we won't make it to the Melbourne thing. I didn't know they did those though, so I will check if there's going to be one here in Brisbane
After doing some more googling, speaking to a lawyer seems like a good idea. I know paid surrogacy is illegal here in Qld, but not sure if that would affect what happens in India, and what would happen when we bring the baby back. We're not Aussie citizens either, we're permanent residents (hubby is British passport holder and I'm European). That might affect bringing the baby into Australia too.
India also has laws we need to consider. You have to be straight and married for at least 2 years (not a problem for us), and enter India on a medical visa, but you also have to provide some kind of proof that the baby would be able to be brought back to Australia before they can start the process.
I had a look at Thai surrogacy, but apparently that means adopting your own child because of the laws over there, so we'd rather not do that.
Ballpark cost I mentioned above seems to be fairly accurate, around $25000-30000 in India (around $50000 if we go to the US). That of course doesn't include travel expenses or unforeseen medical expenses.
Will definitely need to speak to a lawyer if it comes to that. Hopefully there are some alternative treatments we can try to get pregnant, but I'm not too optimistic about that at this point.
International paid surrogacy is illegal in Queensland. People who try to get parental rights through the family court get referred to the attorney general for prosecution.
If we decide to go for surrogacy then we will see a lawyer before going ahead with anything. There is an Aussie website I saw earlier today where they said no one has every been prosecuted for paid surrogacy, as this would be political suicide. I have no idea if this is true though. But I do know that plenty of Aussies go to India and Thailand.
We may still try finding an Aussie surrogate first, before considering going overseas.
The welfare of the surrogate is of course of concern to us. I wouldn't consider it if I thought this meant exploiting a poor woman and leaving them worse off than they were to begin with. This is something we would research thoroughly.
I have looked into paid surrogacy in Australia (as a surrogate). Although it is illegal, there are ways around it, and I've read similar to you about prosecution, although idk how true that is. There are people willing to do it for you, but it would be costly, and you'd have to delve further into the net/surrogacy communities to find them. Personally, if I were in need of a surrogate, I would choose an Australian woman, or if I had the money, travel to a western country like the US and do it there, because the baby factories in Asian countries turn my stomach
After doing more googling, I think I would go to the US too. I don't see how it could be an issue if they put our names on the birth certificate, which they do in California and Arkansas. It would be easier to find an altruistic surrogate over there too, just because of the larger population, which means more women willing to be surrogates.
In Canada they only allow altruistic surrogacy, but you're allowed to advertise for a surrogate. A huge advantage.
Also after all this googling, I wouldn't do it in Australia. Finding someone without "advertising" would be near impossible, then jumping through hoops once you've found someone, then after the baby is born, the surrogate is entitled to decide to keep the baby after all, even when she has no genetic ties to it. Ridiculous. Australian laws seem horribly outdated and unrealistic. (And apparently only 19 babies were born to Aussie surrogates last year or the year before, while over 400 were born to Indian surrogates. A flawed system for sure).
I have a friend who used a surrogate in India the first time around, and they are now going for number two in Thailand. I think Asian countries would be fine, as long as you find a reputable clinic that doesn't exploit women (that would be the hard part though).
Over a week left before we see the fertility specialist again for the final verdict. Going to be a long wait.
I just have to say follow your dreams and don't give up, where theres a will theres a way.
I can see you are ethical & have a good heart. Lots of baby dust xxxx
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Surrogacy
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