My mum is great at saying daft things. She doesn't mean it and doesn't know what to say. When I got the last BFN, I can't remember exactly what she said, but I ended up saying that actually, what she said was not in the slightest bit helpful and all she really needs to say is that she's sorry and is thinking of us. My parents are in the UK, so all this was over the phone, she started getting all teary and saying how she was sorry and didn't know what to say, and how she wished she could be here to give me a hug.
I'm really glad that i told her that she what she was saying was stupid. I'm lucky that I have a great relationship with my mum and dad and I can tell them if they are being unhelpful. On another phone call I actually read some of this thread out to her. we had a good laugh at some of the stupid things that people had said, and it really helped. Now my parents know not to be so insensitive. My mum even sms'd me the other day and said "I don't want to end up on that internet chat room...." !!!
Finally, the message is through! i also can use this site as a threat - don't say anything stupid, or else I'll put your comments on the internet! LOL.
Alex- PMSL that your mum is scared she will become our next "oh she didn't say that!!" pin cushion!
My favourite phrase is "All you care about is your career, you need to settle down and give DP a baby, he is so good with kids". Well thank goodness someone else pointed that out because after 12 years together I never would have noticed that he would be good dad! Oh and thanks again for the information regarding my career - perhaps if I quit my job and we ended up homeless we might be in a better position to have children!!
I honestly get so mad when people give me there view of my world. I just hope that I never forget the TTC experience and one day in my old age parrot these phrases to anyone!!
Just thought I would say that I am really impressed by most of your posts!
most people don't realise what they are saying, and that it could hurt those it's being said too, but it's great to see some good comebacks in the thread that I can use!
DH & I are blessed to have DS via IVF 2 & a bit years ago. We are now working on No2, and have beenn for nearly 18months now. But what realy gets up my goat is when people (especiually family) hear that we have been trying for so long. They give up on us and say..
áh well... at least you have ds'.
It really upsets me. I know we have DS. I know we are blessed to have him. However, just because we have him does not mean that we cant have another one.
Seriously... I know this is extreme, but you wouldnt say to someone who is about to loose their left leg... at least you have got your right leg!' Extreme, but same theory to me.
Sorry about my rant, but I get so upset. We have been going through such a hard time the last 18 months and thats all they can come up with - I just totally expect more from family. All i want is a hug and for them to say life just sucks sometimes - and its not fair.
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