The timing went beautifully - my GP was reasonably on time, and we got to Parramatta with time to spare for lunch... then sat and waited at the clinic for an hour before we got in. Afterwards we went to try to do some more Christmas shopping, until I just couldn't handle it any more and then we came home - at which point I proceeded to cry the whole way home! Still not completely sure what that's all about - possibly as I didn't have time to process everything quietly by myself after the appointment.
But the news you've all been waiting for...
DH's blood tests came back normal - yay! So there's definitely nothing else going on for him other than the varicocele. Dr Knight was an interesting character - calls it as he sees it, and it was obvious that he was joking around at times to try to reduce the tension, but I've never before had a doctor make me feel so... I'm not sure what the word is!
We both got sent for blood tests (the nurse at the clinic was great for that, didn't hurt at all, but I had my usual failure to clot problem afterwards!), and DH needs to give yet another semen sample - he couldn't do it today as we hadn't abstained for three days! so he'll be back next week to do that, and I've got more blood tests to happen out here at home. I have to have a 2 hour glucose tolerance test (blerk!), I've just been reading the instructions on what I'm supposed to be eating for the three days before hand, and I'm not looking forward to it! Also worried about whether I should continue to take the metformin as normal, or stop - I think I'll have to call the clinic and ask them - didn't think of it while I was there.
And then there's the bit that I just can't wrap my brain around... He's referred to DH's varicocele repair as a waste of time and money, and said that he'd be a fool to have someone messing around with his nuts (in his exact words!). Which makes me think that IVF is thus going to be our only option, but when I said that he disagreed with me and told me to wait until all the test results are in and see what happens then. So now we've got my acupuncturist pushing embolisation, DH's specialist pushing surgery and now the fertility specialist saying do stuff all and leave it alone.
Unfortunately, from what DH's previous semen analyses have said, his results are bad enough that natural conception is going to be pretty much impossible in his current state, so I can't see how leave it alone is a valid treatment option at all... but I've also been told not to think that IVF is our only option just yet. The specialist did mention that DH's surgeon makes his money by performing surgeries, so of course he's going to push that option... although the specialist makes his money by doing IVF... what sort of conclusion can you draw?
When it comes to me... I'm told I stress too much and that IVF or no IVF I'm probably never going to conceive because of the stress levels and cortisol levels, and I got handed a sheet on CBT - which is all well and good, but it just seems to be information on how bad the stress is for achieving pregnancy, but nothing to actually DO about reducing my stress levels.
All in all, I'm feeling very discouraged. I feel like I'm never going to get pregnant no matter what because I'm such a stress-head... and I have such a high-stress job that it's not likely to change in any way soon! Up until today I thought I was ok with the prospect of needing IVF - but suddenly seeing that brought up and talked about has been really very confronting.
Things that are really bugging me right now... the specialist's opinion of my charting "haven't you had enough of this by now?" and his suggestion that the charting is contributing to my stress levels... I started charting because the whole big stress of not knowing what was happening was worse than the stress of taking my temperature every morning and popping it into the computer! The fact that even though I couldn't remember the exact numbers from DH's SA, I know they are pretty bad, and natural conception is unlikely - yet the specialist is advocating doing nothing, but that IVF isn't necessarily where we are headed... He also made some comment about the way I responded to something that DH said which makes me feel quite disturbed, as though he thinks our marriage is shaky or something.
Still not sure what to think, and still very teary, very discouraged... Next appointment is the 11th of January... If I was a bit less emotional and strung out right now I'd probably be laughing at the fact that there's a longer wait for our second appointment than there was for our first.
My dodgy attempt at personals (sorry!)
Princess - congratulations! sending vast amounts of sticky vibes your way.
WalkingArt, my AF arrived 5 days after my last provera tablet. Provera also turned me into some sort of raging mega-b!tch, so I'm in absolutely no hurry to go near it again.
Still not completely sure what that's all about - possibly as I didn't have time to process everything quietly by myself after the appointment.
so he'll be back next week to do that, and I've got more blood tests to happen out here at home. I have to have a 2 hour glucose tolerance test (blerk!), I've just been reading the instructions on what I'm supposed to be eating for the three days before hand, and I'm not looking forward to it! Also worried about whether I should continue to take the metformin as normal, or stop - I think I'll have to call the clinic and ask them - didn't think of it while I was there.
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