There's only one problem with all these Christmas smilies... the one beating its head against the brick wall is missing! I shall have to use :throw_computer: instead!

I'm booked in for my GTT on Tuesday morning. So the next three days involve me not only consuming more food than I would normally eat, but it's three days of high-carb food! Not looking forward to it at all!

I gave DH all the varicocele information that I had found today when he got home... he's latched onto the one study where intensive weekly councelling had pretty much the same improvement in fertility as the varicocele repairs! I think that might just be a sign of his worry about having surgery... particularly on such a delicate area! I'm now banned from ever using the word "fixed" in relation to him or his varicocele!

And then we progressed into the discussion of my stress levels... and how the forums and charting and researching isn't adding to the stress, it's helping give me a feeling of control and empowerment which is reducing the stress - he was fine with that. But then it got to the discussion of what IS causing the stress... my job? so quit! He has such simple answers to everything... Can we afford to live/have babies if I'm not working? Probably not, so find another! Problem, I've always been a teacher, I'm not qualified to do anything else as I never did honours after my science degree, so I could probably only do really crappy lab jobs... New problem - working with toxic chemicals! There's no way I'd want to be TTC while working in a chem lab! Sure, I may not be as stressed as if I'm teaching, but I'd be poisoning my system (I found out the hard way in lab work at uni that I'm EXTREMELY sensitive to chemical exposure - I was always faint in organic labs!) and any child I managed to conceive, so that would be a whole new source of stress.

But, I'm refusing to let this get to me! That's why I'm here venting again. (where's the eye-rolling smilie? - there! )

I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired and grumpy or he's just grumpy and was trying to watch TV... but it was an altogether unsatisfactory conversation! I'm feeling rather... exasperated right now! But... Tonight's the last night we can BD before the enforced three-day abstinence (DH has to give the sample on Tuesday!), and I very much appear to have fertile goo right now... so somehow I've got to get past this and give DH the surprise of his life by jumping on him later tonight!

BW