Hi gals and thanks for your advice.. yep, i know only i we can make the decision... and I know I am only 31.... Oh yeah Kar, I didn't end up going back on BCP as my specialist said it would take to long for my body to adjust when i chose to come off, so we are doing 'quick draw mcgraw' IYKWIM!!! and also avoiding o time ... (God it seems so silly after all i have been through).. we won't be careful whilst on holidays either.. it won't matter if i fall over there.. I think the reason why I am stressing now, is i just spoke with my friend who is pregnant on the phone and she rattled me with her constant all about her and her pregnancy conversation, and didn't bother asking how i was... (see my vent post)..... I am ready for pregnancy but just want to get my trip done... it is number one priority at the moment.. thanks for your thoughts.. everyone else keep adding.. leis xx