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Thread: Please tell me I will want to go back to work!!

  1. #1

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    Default Please tell me I will want to go back to work!!

    Hey Ladies - I am looking to hear from all of you out there who really looked forward to going back to work after bub was born.



    My situation is this - I am sole income earner, solicitor, very committed to long-term career and in a really supportive work environment. The "plan" is that I will have 2-4 months off then start going back part time ASAP. My DH will be the primary carer of bub.

    Problem is at 34 weeks I am so over working at the moment. I just feel like I can't wait to be on leave with my baby and turn my back on the whole world of work and suits and clients and meetings. But even as I write this I know long term that is what I want to do (it is really important for me to keep my career - my mum was widowed at 36 with no career and that really taught me how important a career can be to your family and life fulfillment!!) So maybe its just the prolactin(?) talking

    Am I ever going to feel like coming back to work? Will I get my mojo back? I know everyone is different and some people do complete about faces when their bubs are born, but I really don't seethat/hope that doesn't happen to me.

  2. #2

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    Hi Roryrory!!

    Firstly congratulations on your pg! Well done!

    I felt very much the same as you when I first went on maternity leave, LOL! I am a training vascular surgeon - and still have 5 more years till i am a consultant. I worked >90 hrs per week, had only every second weekend off if I was lucky and had to do IVF to conceive our son.

    I went on maternity leave at 35 weeks (too fat to stand at the operating table, LOL!) and I was just so, so excited to be home, away from work, being able to sleep (well as much as one can at that stage of pg), see my hubby and friends and of course await the birth of our much wanted bub.

    Tomas was born on time, and I have looooved being at home looking after him, but have found, on occasion, the change from being who I am in work life (with the challenges of my job which I adore) to a full time mum whose sole being is revolving around nappies, expressing, washing and ironing a challenge.

    I am going back to work in July, and I feel professionally 'recharged' if you know what I mean - I am rested from my work and feel eager to take up the challenge and start learning again and evolving in my profession. I also feel more driven to finish my training now, so that I can dictate when I work, where I work and who I work for and with, rather than my time being dictated by the public hospital system.

    My main fear about going back is the childminding arrangements - and i have decided to get a nanny for Tomas for 3 days a week and the other 2 days my husband will work from home and mind him - have quality father/son time as he says.

    I too have a similar desire to be independent - my father is an alcoholic and my mum cannot leave him because of co dependency (from a non english speaking background, ability to support herself etc), and she has always drilled into me to complete some sort of career so that I never have to be in a situation like hers.

    My only advice for now is to forget work right now, focus on having your baby, get through the first couple of months because they are tough, and then reassess how you feel - you may be surprised (like I was) about how you feel with regard to work. Perhaps like for me you will feel recharged and ready to go back.

    Best of luck, and see you around the boards!

  3. #3

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    Thanks so much BumbleBea - I can't tell you how much your email cheered me up!!!

    Hope things go well with your return in July - it sounds like the 3 day nanny/2 day dad split will work well. Some advice I received re: handover of childrearing work to husband was to start it ASAP - not just before you go back to work. That way you, DH and Tomas won't have such trouble adjusting when you do go back. Dunno if this will help but it sounds logical to me - I sure know I am going to try it O

    thanks again \/

  4. #4

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    I worked as a vet nurse prior to having Matilda, and when she was 4 months old I needed some different mental stimulation so I went back to work for Saturdays and expressed milk. When she was still young & immobile I started taking her in with me & doing the bankings during the week. As she got older I took one day of day care and started working one day a week. I love the balance of working part time and being home with Matilda part time.

    I find the challanges at work to be more exciting now than I did before, I actually enjoy work where at 30 weeks I was MORE than ready to leave work.

  5. #5

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    When I was pg with Olivia, I was totally over work & couldn't wait to finish up......to the point that I resigned and took my long service pay instead of maternity pay: that is how determined I was that I wouldn't want to return.

    Within a few months of Olivia being born I was gagging to get back to work, and luckily managed to score contract work through my previous employer, enabling me to work at home, which I still do.

    I have since had Charlie, and am now pregnant with #3 (a little unexpected) and am still working. It is challenging work, keeps my mind from stagnating, and is very well paid.

    However, I do really miss going OUT to wrok, and find myself longing for the day when I can return FT to my career, but feel really glad my name and my reputation & my experience levels are being maintained by the contract work that I do from home.

    So I can't really answer your question, but hormones and time do all sorts of weird and wonderful things..........

  6. #6

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    In a way I felt I never really had maternity leave because I just kept working.
    Though it was only1/2 day a week to start with.
    But yes, I felt the need to go out to the workplace to get away, talk about other things & to socialise. Also my mum got nanna time whild she looked after DD.
    I was also able to do work from home, but as DD wasn't a good sleeper I ended up doing it at night time, so at 10 months I decided I had to actually go out to work part time to get away & not lose my time IYKWIM.
    Time was shared between me, mum & day care.

    Also, as I'm a tax accountant, I can't 'leave/disappear' from my work for an extended time. I'd miss too much, lol.

    But in summary I think working part time is getting the best of both worlds. DH has also gone down to part time so we share care.
    Next year when DD goes to full time school I will go back to full time but with flexi hours, I want to be able to drop her off at school on a couple of days.

    Mmm, just thinking, that's my story but not sure if it relates to what your question was, but hope it helps in seeing another point of view.

  7. #7

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    No Problem Aurora!!

    Hope everything goes well in your last few weeks of pg - and when the time comes - happy baby gazing!!

    I am glad my post cheered you up - as usual there are a lot of amazing ladies here who have also found a way, so don't worry, you will too!

    My hubby is great with Tomas already, and I have started to go to a tute every fortnight and he has Tomas then, and each time I come home from it, they both look very mischievious..... hmmmm, a lot of playing going on I think!!

    My DH tells me that he actually really looks forward to their time 'alone' together, so that is good. The reallity of having him all day might be different, but at least he knows, at least in part what to expect.

    Thank you so much though for the advice, because I wholeheartedly agree with it!

    Take care, and I cannot wait for news of your little one!

  8. #8

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    Hmmm - I am an engineer, and probably in a slightly different boat as I got pregnant so I could stop working!! LMAO!
    I have been working for about 9 years now professionaly, and I was over it. Over work, over the day to day crap, and just sick of dealing with stupid men all the time.
    I still worked to 36.5 weeks, and I should have stopped earlier. I ended up being really disjointed from the whole pregnancy experience, and I found I didn't really get a chance to prepare for the baby emotionally.
    In saying that - a week after I finished working, I was back in at work to tidy a few things up!

    I was very lucky in that my DP has been on workcover sincelast June, so we have been share parents. Its been great for me cause I've had a totally free experience, with only a little bit of stress in it all.

    Financially things got too tight for us, so I went backto work in Feb, but it was only a short term thing until I could get pregnant again. So I'm still there, hoping to resign in a couple of weeks time, cause I'm really into staying at home and seeing my daughter grow up.

    After this baby comes, I will be going back touni to retrain as a seconday teacher, but I refuse to start uni until he/she is 6 months old at least. Those first few months are too precious, I want to make sure my child can wave goodbye before leaving it onea daily basis.

    So with regards to will you feel the work mojo return? Maybe - but I think it all changes where you know now that you work to live, not live to work. These little guys are so special, for me it seems like a waste to leave them with someone else to care for them. But thats just my opinion, and again, professionally I was in a very different head space.
    I am pleased to say now I rarely do more than a 40hr week Previuosly I was 55-65 hrs without overtime.

  9. #9

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    Thankyou all for sharing your stories! My bub is now due in the next few days and I am so looking forward to the next big leap in my life. It's great to have such support. I am actually starting to imagine how I will get back to work (I started mat leave on 16 May) and am looking forward to the challenge.

    Thanks again, all of you

  10. #10

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    Aurora......only a few days to go......you lucky thing......this is SUCH a special time....enjoy every moment......and VERY vest of luck with the birth etc.......

  11. #11

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    Aurora,

    Enjoy your mat leave and all the best for the birth. It's such a special time.


    Mel

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