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Thread: Returning to work soon and totally freaking out!!

  1. #1
    Kirsty77 Guest

    Default Returning to work soon and totally freaking out!!

    Hey girls

    I need advice and quickly!!I am supposed to return to work on January 23rd but am seriously wondering what the hell for!I feel soooo guilty because Gemma will have to go to daycare.I will be working mon 10-2 wed 8-4 thurs 10-2 and I feel like such a horrible mum doing this! We could use the extra money as any other person could to, but is it worth it.Its not like we need the money badly, we do fine, but I guess the real need is for me to find myself out of the house and not being just a mummy but part of the world again(If that makes sense).But I'm only now just starting to really enjoy being home, and I guess thats because Gem has become so much more interactive and is not sleeping all the time. And the fact that in August we are going to TTC again(maybe sooner).Is it worth it?Please let me here your stories.......


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    1,244

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    Kirsty,

    I can so understand your feelings which sounds weird because my son isn't even born yet but already I am torturing myself in the middle of the night about going back to work when my year's mat leave is up. I just don't know how I'm going to do it. I would love to stay with him until he is at least two but I am thinking that we might not be able to stand the financial strain for that long.

    Is there any flexibility with your current return to work date? Maybe if you feel it is too soon, you can put it off a bit longer - maybe for three months - and then see how you feel after that. I am hoping you have an understanding boss/workplace!

    Also, as you are thinking about trying for number 2 next year, is it worth the disruption to your home life for that short period of time? I don't want you to think that I'm pushing you in a particular direction, but it seems like the doubt is already there in your mind and you are leaning toward wanting to stay at home for a while longer.

    Best of luck with your decision Kirsty. And don't feel horrible if you do decide to go back to work. If working gives you some personal satisfaction, it is doing you some good too. Gemma will be happy if you are happy - she'll pick up the vibes!

    Cheers,

    Mel

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    Funky Town, Vic
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    I understand you completely, but I must say those hours are pretty good. It's not easy getting part time work.

    Why don't you give it a go and see how you feel? I like getting out of the house for a few hours a week, you might like it too. If you go back on the 23rd will it help you requalify for mat leave? It may be something to consider anyway.

    good luck!

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Victoria
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    Kirsty,

    I returned to work when Amy was 4 mths old and DH is a SAHD and looks after her full time. I am loving work and my time with Amy at night is very special. At least you don't have to work full time, I think that would be harder. I suppose our situation is a little different as Amy is not in day care so I'm probably not much help. Good luck.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Giving the gift of life to a friend..
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    I am going back to fulltime work on Jan 16th!!! I am nervous about returning too, but as my Mum (who lives in unit at back of our house) is having Indah on Wednesday & Thursdays, she already takes Maddy to school Mon-Fri & my older sister will have Indah the other 3 days, I am not as stressed as i thought I would be!
    I have plenty expressed milk in freezer & will express in my office (I have my own office) during the day & can refrigerate it, so she will still have boob morning & night & expressed milk during the day!
    I work 5 mins from home & will pop home during my lunch breaks a few days a week.
    I earn about 40% more than Dh & we could not survive the wya we do on his wage & I want one more, so must be back at work a minimum of 12 months to gewt paid leave again, which we will need!

    Good Luck with your decision... Sorry I was of no help!!!

  6. #6

    Join Date
    May 2003
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    Beautiful Adelaide!
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    I feel for you, I really do. I was never in your possition because I resigned from work as I knew we would have to TTC for #2 pretty much straight away. BUT, I was called for jury duty when Olivia was 11 months and putting her in childcare then was very difficult for me.

    However, after the initial adjustment period, I did actually enjoy my time away from her, and came back from court every day really a better Mummy for it! (She thrived in the childcare environment totally BTW)

    But I can see your dilemma. It is a real toughie, and really, only you can make the choice.

    If it were me, I would try it for a while and see how you both go. Be prepared to go through every emotion under the sun, and then make further decisions based on how you feel?

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Caroline Springs,Melbourne
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    1,531

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    I am in the same boat. I return to work 30th Jan and I am not looking forward to it.
    I am currently looking at breastpumps so I can continue to breastfeed while back at work.
    At the moment i like the Avent breast pump in the return to work kit. Looks like its good idea with all the bag bottles and ice packs.
    its $165.00 but might be a good investment.... would be cheaper than buting formula all the time I guess.

    If anyone has used Avent breast pump please letme know what you think?

  8. #8
    Cass Guest

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    Hi Kirsty,

    It is probably one of the hardest decisions you will have to make for a while.

    I came back to work - part time, 12 hours a week when Rinn was 6 weeks. Luckily all of the hours were 4-7pm to start with.
    But as time went on - I added on half days and got Rinn into DC.
    I will never forget the first day - I howled my heart out (I locked myself in the toilet). I honestly thought that I was "getting it all wrong".
    Less than a month later - one of my work mates was killed in a car accident. I was asked to 'stand in' and see if I was comfortable. That was 2 years ago.
    I have gradually increased my hours - I am now doing 30 hours a week.
    So Rinn is at DC 5 days over a fortnight.

    I was worried about what or how it would affect her. I must admit that she was a very very clingy baby. Now she is a beautifully independant little Miss. She has gained so much more being at DC. And the fact that she is and will be an only child - it gives her a "social side".
    But I think what we have been able to do is to find a center where she is relaxed and happy (she is beside herself before we even get there!!) and the balance of time that she is there is good too.
    To add to that - I am happy. I find that the staff are fantastic - they love what they do there. The other kids are happy too. I still have the odd day where I think "Wouldnt it be nice if....???" But then I realise that we have made certain decisions for ourselves - and we are sticking to them because there is a long term benifit.
    Also - I dont know that I could handle being a SAHM Full Time. Its just me - I have always worked and thrived in this situation. But I do have a nice balance of days of work and "Rinn Time" too.

    What ever choice you make - you have to be happy, as well as your baby.
    For some - it is not working - that is just not me. I love what I do, and we need me to be earning an income.
    It is all about balance and getting it right - tailoring it to suit your family.
    Feel free to email me - I know that it is nice knowing that you are not the only one! I am regularly in contact with other working mums that use Rinn's DC Centre. Its really helpful!

    Deancey - I used the Avent pump and that pack - and it was perfect.

    To all of those Mums out there who start back at work soon - I wish you all Good Luck - it isnt hard - but sometimes you just have to do what you need to do! Big Big Hugs to you!

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Rural NSW
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    Having worked in DC with little babies here's some of the challenges working mums seemed to encounter:

    * Dealing with frequent illness of babe. Many mums found their bosses to be unsympathetic to the frequency of coughs and colds children in DC contract. We have to call mum/dad to come and collect the child if the nasal discharge is green, if they are running a temp., are contagious, or if a rash suddenly develops (to name a few). These occur surprisingly often and some mums get annoyed with us for calling them so often but it's not fair on the other babies if it spreads.

    * Working late/getting stuck in traffic. Almost daily a parent would be late due to everyday situations out of their control. We had to charge a dollar per minute they were late to cover 2 staff being on the premises after hours.

    * Missing milestone events. Some mums would burst into tears if we said we witnessed babe's first steps. We kept detailed "diaries" for each child and wrote an account of their daily experiences but some parents were more sensitive to missing these events than others.

    * the cost of care. We were a premium centre with a 3:10 ratio which also focussed on the developmental needs of each child and provided tailored activites/learning experiences for each age group. Even with the rebate I still heard stories of it being "cheaper" to stay at home. I guess when you factor in the extra petrol driving to the centre, meals, disposable nappies (we can't deal with fabric in a centre) it all adds up.

    Anyhow, these were the big three issues that seemed most common in my 5 years at this particular centre. I myself have only used family day care for my DD when she was 3. I won't use DC for many reasons, mainly because childhood (especially babyhood) is too fleeting. We make a lot of sacrifices for me to stay home but it's not for everyone. I fully acknowledge that some mum's really need the "break" going to work offers! Motherhood can be isolating. Good luck with your decision. Perhpas give it a go... and follow your intuition

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