Working Mummies Support Group

[Astrid]

I am a rubbish homemaker as well. I like the idea of it, but the reality is quite different.
Plus with us having moved to the area, having no family and small network of friends, I don't think it was healthy for the girls to just be around me most of their days. So for me I see using childcare as a part of my village.

We do fly MIL over once a year to help out around the busiest part of the year for me, which so happens to coincide with the school holidays. It saves on putting DD1 in vacation care full-time, but also means the girls get some time with their grandma. So everyone wins with that. If I was not working, then the girls would see their Grandma less. So working does have more benefits than just money.

[~clover~]

Funny this thread should pop back up now. After a lot of communication issues with my last job, it was all over about 8 months ago. But I start another job on Tuesday Nothing exciting, just cleaning at the caravan park, 2 - 3 hours a day 5 days a week. But its perfect for me, & I can have DD with me. I'm a bit excited to have some income on top of c'link again! I like being able to do things with the kids on weekends, like camping & I haven't been able too for so long!

[veus]

Wysiwyg: I'm in similar situation. At this stage I'm taking adv of the part time option I have at work. But I cannot see myself as a sahm mum. I feel more balanced for myself having a few days work but I do question if I can do full time too & whether its worth the $ or not.

[wysiwyg]

Yes we do get Grandma benefits too, although I do find it hard the long periods she is here - coming to end of 5 weeks and then will probably have 10 ish.

Anyway prompted by the other thread I have just checked after school rates in our area and they are pretty cheap $18 night $16 in morning so I am just focusing on Jan 2015 as will make a massive difference only having DS in childcare and then will seem less like working for nothing. (It makes absolutely no sense really such expensive childcare rates but relatively cheap before and after school care - assuming you can get in - but it is at the school DD would go to and we walk past on way to and from childcare and doesn't look that busy to me - of course 2 years could change that :-)) But I feel more positive now.

[Astrid]

Part if me wishes we had after school care. Financially it would not be worth it as any extra hours would be paying it. The main benefit is increased super.

The whole super situation is high on our minds these days. It is one the major benefits if me working. I will need to look into an after tax contribution to ensure we have enough.

[wysiwyg]

I haven't even thought about super yet apart from just having it. The after school is really jyst necessity due to travel times - needing to finish at 14:30 everyday think would find hard to find work, and we live relatively close to city.

[MummyNaomi]

Subbing, returning to work soon. When DH finishes his leave in Sept, I will have two in daycare, but luckily it will only be till Feb when DS starts school. However mornings are going to be challenging, driving DS to school in one direction, then DD to childcare and then get to work myself around 8am - I think we are going to have to leave home shortly after 7am - eeeek, Not sure how to manage that. Fortunately it will only be two days a week as one day I will work from home, one will be my RDO and Nan will sort out the kids on the third day. But getting kids fed, dressed etc as well as myself those mornings will require super organisation methinks

[peanutter]

We were looking at whether DH would go back to work...

On one hand, we'd have his pay, less tax, less daycare fees, plus CCB/CCR, less car expenses (fuel, wear and tear, etc)... and we'd get less (or probably, nothing) from family tax benefit. And DH would probably either have to drop back to only one subject a semester at Uni, or we'd need to get a cleaner once a month (fortnight ...?) and possibly a gardener, if my hours stay as they are at the moment.

Whereas if he stays at home, we'll still have costs associated with feeding and entertaining the boys during the day.

Essentially, without getting into too much detail with the cost of Haydee-Ho at daycare compared to the cost of play centre on weeks it's too wet for playgroup to go the park, etc, DH would be doing a 40 hour week for the tidy sum of $2.40 per hour. Less if you take travel into account ...

When we were faced with this decision after DS1 was born, we needed that extra $100 a week, so he went back. He didn't like it, I didn't like it, but we accepted it.

This time, he's staying at home.

As the working parent, it's really hard. Frequently the boys are asleep when I go, and in bed when I get home. I'll go in and have snuggles with DS1 but DS2 would wake and not resettle and suffer the next day. I get lots of time with them on the weekend, but while I'm doing crazy hours, it's really hard.

[Astrid]

I am fortunate that everything runs in a line. Half the week, school, childcare, then work. The other half, kinder, school, then work. It is a rush though, a delay of 5 minutes can throw everything out.
Frustrating that school says no drop off before 8:45, but I do it at 8:30 anyway, half the kids are already there (they arrive on the country school buses, which I could put DD1 on, but stupid with me driving by each morning).
Some mornings there is walk to school, so I can drop her off with them. It is meant to be every morning, but half the time the parents doing it are late, so I have driven by before they start.

It is a pain that DH leaves so early, he is no help of a morning, he just sits eating breakfast with the TV on, whilst I pack 3-4 lunches depending on the day.

Worked out that I work for $8.70 per hour bring home. That is after taking into account childcare (out of pocket) and loss of Family tax benefits. We are at that point where we are one minimum FTB A, so now we don't have to worry about what we lose there if DH or I earn more. Well only concern ourselves when we hit threshold of losing the top up amounts, Education Bonus etc. We are few years off that though and would be earning enough that those amount would not matter in the scheme of things.
My pay increases are negotiated, whereas DH has his written into his EBA.

[Trillian]

Well I recently returned to paid work after being a SAHM for 12 years. It's only 12 hours per week, 4 days per week as an SLSO at my kids school, so the hours are fantastic. I finish at 12.15 and with the half hour trip home I'm still getting home early enough that i have a few hours without the kids to get things done. But it's been a challenge though getting back into the swing of things - even just arranging things like getting the car serviced or appointments now have to be fitted in around my work have kept me on my toes. The housework side isn't too bad - I have kids old enough now that we can all get into it and work together to get it done quicker. The biggest thing though is managing uni work on top of it. I'm still doing a full time uni load because I can't afford to have my degree drag out longer - I only have 12 months to go so I'll just have to suck it up and keep moving forward. It does make it easier though that I have all the kids at school. Working with them still at home was impossible and would completely defeat the purpose of working. However I am loving working again and having that role outside of the house.

[~clover~]

Subbing, returning to work soon. When DH finishes his leave in Sept, I will have two in daycare, but luckily it will only be till Feb when DS starts school. However mornings are going to be challenging, driving DS to school in one direction, then DD to childcare and then get to work myself around 8am - I think we are going to have to leave home shortly after 7am - eeeek, Not sure how to manage that. Fortunately it will only be two days a week as one day I will work from home, one will be my RDO and Nan will sort out the kids on the third day. But getting kids fed, dressed etc as well as myself those mornings will require super organisation methinks

Do you know what time your DS's school will start yet? Generally kids aren't allowed on school grounds more than 15 minutes before the bell rings, as there's no supervision. Our bell rings at 8.50, kids aren't to be there before 8.30. DD1's previous school went in at 8.30, they weren't to be on the grounds before 8.15.
Just something you may need to consider if you haven't already.

[MummyNaomi]

Thanks Clover, he'll be in OSHC on those mornings as I will need to drop him off early to get DD to CC, she's close to work so it makes more sense to drop him first. Another expense though !!

[wysiwyg]

Worked out that I work for $8.70 per hour bring home. That is after taking into account childcare (out of pocket) and loss of Family tax benefits. We are at that point where we are one minimum FTB A, so now we don't have to worry about what we lose there if DH or I earn more. Well only concern ourselves when we hit threshold of losing the top up amounts, Education Bonus etc. We are few years off that though and would be earning enough that those amount would not matter in the scheme of things.
My pay increases are negotiated, whereas DH has his written into his EBA.

Interesting way of looking at the figures - I just did mine and think works out at $15 while only in daycare three days a week but would drop down to $10 if end up having to go full-time. I suspect if I get offered to stay in my position come July it will be as a permanent employee instead of contractor so it is useful to think of things in this way in terms of what salary I would want, because salaried positions are often significantly less per hour (with understandable reasons I think).

In terms of organisation in mornings haven't found too bad, but I tend to have shower at work (I cycle or walk a significant part, and also push kids round to daycare so prefer this) so I hardly take any time to get ready and the kids I get them to pick their clothes night before and they just grab a banana and have breakfast at daycare (I do have breakfast before I go as can't leave house without breakfast - but DS does tend to get his mits on mine most mornings too). DH does pick ups so that is ok ( doesn't help in morning which is ok as his focus is getting to work on time so can leave 16:30 to do pick up), but he may have to travel with work soon for the first time ever (and mum will have gone) so doing both drop off and pick up will have to see how it goes.

Peanutter - we did think about DH staying home and he did part-time for a bit after DD to see how would go - but didn't work that well and also restricted him moving up at work - now a couple of years on he finally has a job he loves for first time in his life - something he has always wanted to get into. I did work full-time after DD for three months and I recognize some of your feelings about work and it did make me appreciate how it must be for a lot of dad's - I wonder if I have to do it again whether it will feel better this time or worse as previously was only ever going to be until number two arrived maximum.

[peanutter]

Yup. We've known since reasonably early into our relationship that DH would be the SAHD, as long term, he wants to be a Dad and write novels. I've never wanted to be a SAHM and my career doesn't lend itself in the slightest to being a WAHM.

My hours at the moment are just sucky - I'm normally out the door by 6.15 and I get home anywhere from 6.30pm to 2am depending on what's happening at work,.

We have the boys in daycare one day a week - a concept for a full time parent which I completely did NOT understand until I had kids of my own and saw how hard it is to be ontop of the housework, do shopping, do uni, etc, with kids!!

DH came to a negotiation with his work for him to work a .5 position from home, but sadly the guy at work who was taking over the balance of his job just really doesn't pull his weight, and so his work wanted DH to come in for an hour or so every day to catch up on the stuff the other guy "wasn't getting to". Getting someone to babysit 2 under 2 for 1.5-3 hours *everyday* was going to obliterate the benefit of the pay (as they just were paying him .5 of the full time salary) and when it became clear they weren't going to give him a raise for the forth year running we're pulling the plug. I don't think they'll be surprised ... I'm hoping they don't try to diddle DH out of his annual leave and LSL entitlements... will wait and see what happens.

[nothing2lose]

Ive always worked fulltime but went down to three days a week about a year ago. It's a much better life work balance.
It's made no difference to FTB, CCB etc as we've never been eligible but it means dd can do an after school activity on Friday whereas before she wouldn't have been able to do it.

We don't have before school care so I don't start work until 9.30am.

Dd is in grade 5 now. Not sure what we will do in a couple of years when she is in high school. Freaks me out thinking she will be home by herself for three hours, three nights a week (after catching PT home!) I guess we will cross that bridge when we have to cross it!

Eta - Nutter, we are all "fulltime parents", just some of us work outside the home sometimes

[peanutter]

We don't have before school care so I don't start work until 9.30am.

Dd is in grade 5 now. Not sure what we will do in a couple of years when she is in high school. Freaks me out thinking she will be home by herself for three hours, three nights a week (after catching PT home!)

Times have changed so much. From the age of 9, I had a key, and my siblings and I had before school chores, then we'd walks (2kms in the snow ... ok, no snow, but it was 2kms) to school, we'd get there early (because I've always hated being late) and then we'd all walk back after school, I'd cook them something to eat, we'd do our after school chores, and mum would be home an hour or two later ... if she was particularly late, or if it was my turn, I'd cook dinner too. High school was a train trip, sometimes after dark, after sports or choir in winter... All these things that just don't happen very often these days.

But come to think of it, we walked to and from school by ourself from age 4 even when mum was at home!

I'm not sure if these are more dangerous times, or if we're just more protective ... I wonder what I could and wouldn't be ok with my boys doing, and I'm not sure, because they're not of an age that I'd be letting them out and about alone anyway.

Anyway, I guess these aren't things relevant to being a working mumma ... they're just things I think about ...

Working mummy question: how do you treat public holidays? Eg: tomorrow is a public holiday, and I personally have to get some funeral things organised, and write an article I've been putting on the backburner for way too long, but normally, pre children, I'd stay in bed, have a long bath, catch up with a friend, read a book, see a movie, have a naked day, or something like that ... Now, I feel obliged to clean the house from top to bottom, and engage in meaningful activities with my children, and I get the guilts if I even consider having a lay in (because it means my DH can't, and it's his public holiday too!!) So what do you do?

[Astrid]

Working mummy question: how do you treat public holidays? Eg: tomorrow is a public holiday, and I personally have to get some funeral things organised, and write an article I've been putting on the backburner for way too long, but normally, pre children, I'd stay in bed, have a long bath, catch up with a friend, read a book, see a movie, have a naked day, or something like that ... Now, I feel obliged to clean the house from top to bottom, and engage in meaningful activities with my children, and I get the guilts if I even consider having a lay in (because it means my DH can't, and it's his public holiday too!!) So what do you do?

Nothing specific. DH is also home (he works full-time), so it often a balance between wanting to rest, needing to do things around the house. Sadly doing a specific activity for the girls often falls last. Like tomorrow, we will be wood cutting.
Sometimes I feel bad that we aren't doing some wonderful activity with the girls, but then they are so busy during the week with school/childcare/kinder, after school activities twice a week, I think some down time vegging around the house and helping us where needed is good for them.

[wysiwyg]

Mm well I never feel obliged to clean the house, tomorrow I am doing some work in morning from home and in arvo DH and I are off to footy together on our own. Have done stuff with kids past three days and tomorrow they will get Uncle Chris and Grandma in arvo so is a treat for them. Oh and I am meeting friends for dinner tonight, so will probably get chance for a nap. But mum goes Thursday so we do try to cram stuff in when have free babysitting as we often go months and months without going out on our own.

Also my mum does think our flat is like student digs and not a home - so that prob gives you an idea of how little I prioritize home stuff.

If public holiday was mid week I prob would feel some guilt if didnt spend time with kids though, because tagged onto weekend seems different.