Working Mummies Support Group

[Mumma T]

Yay congrats on the job!! I have a bit of a commute too but I listen to podcasts the whole way and it goes much faster.

AFM - Well 3 month review went well so looks like I am staying here til I have another baby or get a job with a Gov agency I am trying to get into. Really struggling with Mummy guilt at the moment with working full time as DS is so unsettled at night and I am completely strung out from lack of sleep. I feel like if I wasn't working then I would be more patient at ridiculous O'clock every night

[MummyNaomi]

Excellent news Wysiwyg Congrats!!

[peanutter]

Yay for you both!!!

I hear you on the lack of sleep and guilt issues though, MT

[CK1815]

Any teachers who went back to teaching full-time after having a baby? DD will be 5.5months old when I go back in term 4 and I also have an almost 5 year old. I felt like I handled teaching and having one child fine, we had a good routine. But, I'm worried now about having 2, especially a baby

[~clover~]

I'm exhausted. I wasn't coming in here much, because I only work casual. It was usually 2 - 3 hours, maybe 2 - 3 days a week. Then we got busy... And now I'm struggling to cope at home.

Yesterday was my first day home in about 4 weeks. Went camping last weekend when could've stayed home I guess, but kids needed to get away & so did I.

Every other day I've worked or had sports stuff on. And they've all been big days. On Monday I didn't get home til 4pm. So kids were home for half hour alone. No problems there, but I like to at least be home for them School holidays are next week & I don't usually work through them, but this time I've asked too, coz I need the money. So kids will either come with me, or visit friends, or stay home. I am only around the corner, in a very small town.

My problem is my house! I spend all day cleaning at work then come home & I'm too exhausted to clean my own house. Even washing up is a struggle some days! I have a pile of washing on my lounge that is literally taking over! (caught up on the washing today though, go me). Both the little kids rooms are that trashed you can't walk into them (tomorrows job), my room is a mess... I got bathroom, toilet & laundry all done today & yesterday. And cleaned out my fridge & pantry...

But for those doing it on your own, with no partner to help out/back you up, how do you keep up? I admit, it is part laziness. Or tiredness, lol, I can't tell. DD3 still wakes through the night, every night! Bigger DD's do help, but I don't make them do it enough, or regularly. I guess I should get more of a routine happening for them. At least to wash up after dinner every night...

Usually when I work I have myself together & I'm on top of everything. But the hours I was doing a few weeks ago & not having weekends off, means I've gotten way behind & I don't know how to catch up. I'll get there I guess..

[Astrid]

wysiwyg: Congratulations! Pity about the drive, but sometimes a compromise needs to be made. Have done so for my job, great hours, great job, but on the other side of town. Only plus side is that it puts me near vacation care, so easy for booking (has to be done in person) and for drop off/pick up. Really hope it works out well for you!

Mumma T: Woo Hoo on your 3 month review going well. Sucks about the mummy guilt and lack of sleep

CK1815: Not a teacher, so can't advise. Hope you get that routine worked out.

Clover: Yeah, it can be tough to keep on top of things when work hours increase. I find the weeks DH is away I do get girls to help out a lot more. Even just sorting the little stuff like undies and socks can be a help.

AFM -been a bit quiet in this thread. Just plodding along really. It has been busy at work and staying busy. Looks like I get to go away with work in a couple of weeks. It is so easy for DH, he just goes and I pick up the pieces. For me to go, I have to organise others to help out with school pick ups, which is frustrating. Kids have been sick a lot and now seem to have hayfever, which is putting a lot of pressure on me with lack of sleep at night and trying to work out if they are well enough for school/childcare/kinder.
On a positive note, I am about to pay my third last childcare bill!! Well, I will have vacation care and school expenses next year, but they are no where near as exxy as childcare!

[peanutter]

I was exhausted for quite a while.

One thing that seemed to make a difference was actually going back on the pill (and I waited until I'd stopped exclusively breastfeeding - my personal choice) because that's when my hormones seemed to get back into check. Weird,right?

But as DS2 didn't start sleeping properly (or at all, much) until about 9 months, I was really living on fumes for a while, with a couple of blocks of 90 minutes of sleep over night, with some feeds, and then sleeping on the train both ways. I really feel for you in the exhausted stakes

[Frangipani Lou]

Hello fellow mummies.
It's only 8 days until I return to work and join you guys in here. It's going to be a huge change and will involve lots of travel to and from work and a puzzle of childcare arrangements.
I'm quite emotional about returning to work and I'm needing to do more days and hours than I would like.
If money wasn't part of the equation, I'd stay off work but I need to return to accumulate the entitlement for another round of maternity leave.
I've started lists of what needs packing each day etc and DP will be cooking most nights cause my day will be over 10 hours long.
Sigh.

[Beautiful Disaster]

In still here too. Work is really slow so I can not wait for mat leave. Bring on 15 feb. I might actually get some time off this time. My DS was born on my last day of work lol my work didn't make me perm they put me on another 12 month contract which was done before they knew I was preg. I have told them I want to go back after 6 months off (although I really don't now) for just 3 days a week for 6 months then go back full time after that. I just have to go into it thinking that when I go on feb that I won't be back unless of course there is something in writing saying different. The joys of working for an international insurance broker

Hope you are all coping well.

Much love

[Frangipani Lou]

PN its been such a roller coaster. We met 10 family day care educators and liked a few but lots were way different than what I thought I'd find.
I found a lovely gentle serene FDC educator only 10 mins from home but she only had a Friday available so we've taken that spot, hoping for more days next year.
I asked my cousin who lives in the same region as my work and she is thrilled to have DD for 2 days a week- she's worked with children and is a sahm who is a kinder teacher too. My parents will have DD one day a week.
It's far from what I want for DD, having multiple carers over a week but 2 are family so I just keep saying to myself ' it takes a village to raise a child' and putting my many fears aside.
I'm going to request a different kinder for next year. Where I am for term 4 is just too far especially with dropping off DD.
I looking forward to learning lots from you guys.

[peanutter]

I'm glad that you have a solution, even if it's a short term solution.

I don't see the multiple carers as a negative necessarily - she is sufficiently young that there won't really be any expectations on her, so there's a limited scope for mixed messages etc, especially if your chosen carers take a similar gentle approach to you.

The differences in activities, food, environments etc could be a great thing! And if it's the same routine each week, that's just a different type of consistency.

Eg: my ideal week for the DSs is mainly music on Mondays, Playgroup on Tuesdays, park and picnic on Wednesdays, pool on Thursdays, and library on Fridays. Heaps of variety, but predictable, and activity and burning energy etc everyday. (That routine never happens, but it's a nice goal )

[Frangipani Lou]

Starting work tomorrow.

DD starts with my cousin tomorrow.

Feeling pretty crappy.

Words of wisdom welcome please.

[Mumma T]

Good luck FL, I am sure it will go much smoother than you anticipate

[wysiwyg]

Good luck FL - I hope your first day goes well.

Well my first two days at new job last week went well - I am not sure it is going to be as fun and friendly as my last workplace, and is typical project environment (room with no windows :-)) - drive last week was easy but it was school holidays so this week will be the real test. I think that the driving is going to be the most annoying thing about the job. I am also used to hardly ever paying for petrol as I drove so little most was bought using Caltex Gift Cards got through my Mastercard, but I am actually going to have to think about putting petrol in it now.

I am transferring the course I was doing (Cert IV training and assessment) to be a week course instead of part-time online as there is no way I have the motivation to get it done now, so will just do it in Jan when either this contract is over or I can take the week off.

I am working 7.50-4 is the plan - so I should be able to pick up kids just after five, and the plan is to drop the car off home and walk to pick them up, as they hate going in the car and I love the walking, so planning also to have picnic tea and we will just go to park/library/whatever till need to go home to bed. That way it will actually seem like I have some nice fun time with the kids on those days - we have been to park after tea a few times over the weekend and the kids love it and I figured what is really the point in rushing home, we all eat main meal at lunch time anyway.

Really I should be thankful to DS that his persistent waking at 5:50 has got me used to waking at that hour so getting up early now seems no problem :-)

[peanutter]

I keep telling myself it will get easier as the kids get older.

[Astrid]

FL - good luck with your first day

wysiwyg - I like the idea of picnic dinners, makes me wish we were in a position to do that. Hopefully school traffic does not add too much to your drive. Down here is make a huge difference to the drive, which really did surprise me.

PN - not sure it gets easier, it just seems to change. Two at primary school next year has me so excited!

[wysiwyg]

wysiwyg - I like the idea of picnic dinners, makes me wish we were in a position to do that. Hopefully school traffic does not add too much to your drive. Down here is make a huge difference to the drive, which really did surprise me.

I have been told makes a massive difference, also been told that nearly every day there is an accident on the West Gate making the journey horrendous, but quite a few people do the similar trip so I think some of those statements about accidents etc are exaggerations! Because we don't have a garden just a small balcony staying out for a picnic dinner is really nice - I guess if we had a garden it might be different, the kids do love wandering though, and they have a long list of things in the neighbourhood they like to check out (a cat called Tuppenance, Cranes, Foundations, a postbox with a hand on it to shake, etc. etc.)

[Frangipani Lou]

Today went very well. Much better than I expected. We both had really good days but are pretty knackered now. DD was very happy with my cousin and her family. She even slept for 2 hours! She's had a big cry in my arms tonight though.
I had a pretty relaxed day. I didn't even need to mediate any conflicts.
Early to bed for everyone tonight.