Working Mummies Support Group #3

[wysiwyg]

Hope she went well TT. Hope you are ok BD? I couldn't agree more about it being a hard gig. Much as we need DH to go back to work I am dreading it, 4 days a week out of the house 7:15 to 5:45 is just too much I think once he is not at home, I need a different job (I don't mind this one but location is a pain). DD has never once complained or seen my work as a bad thing before but since starting school, she is starting to think of work as a bad thing which I really don't want. Partly it is because she gets more exposure at school to parents who are able to drop off and pick up and take part during the day, but partly is just because this job I am working/commuting more. I can't change anything till DH has work but once he is settled somewhere I will be stepping up hunt for something with less commute and different hours.

[Beautiful Disaster]

I'm out at 630/645 and home at 6 so hard. Kids don't seem to mind but I don't get to spend time with them at night cause it's home dinner bath bed feel like I'm not doing the best for my family. I'm spending over $1000 a fortnight on daycare till the NFY.

I'm already freaking out about when DS goes to school next year. I don't want to be THAT mum that can't get to things cause I HAVE to work.

[wysiwyg]

I have no idea what the answer is, I actually quite like this job and I think it has prospects but unless DH manages to get a really flexible job with an easy commute (the likelihood of that based on previous experience/attitudes to men and flexibilty, seems small) it just isn't sustainable. I just hope by time DD is a parent the working landscape has changed, so everyone can work if they want in a variety of careers and have time to spend with their kids everyday (actual time to do stuff like practicing reading, games etc not just eating and bedtime). It isn't just working though that has to be addressed is housing affordability too, roads and public transport etc so people don't have to spend hours commuting.

[Beautiful Disaster]

Agree

[wysiwyg]

Scott Morrison (minister for social services) and our local member of parliment were at DS childcare on Friday - apparently DS did a lot of chatting with them - I should have made him recite a speech on the realities of working and childcare and my thoughts on some of the governments proposals :-)

[Beautiful Disaster]

Bahahahahaha now that would hAve been awesome

[wysiwyg]

Anyone got any ideas on how to make sure your kids don't grow up thinking work is a bad thing? I really don't want DD having the attitude that work is bad, and try to be quite careful about the language I use around her - but as with most things school is giving her other perspectives. Today DH is sick (virus) but he couldn't get up to take kids to school - no problem I booked her in at before and after care - but school finishes at 13:30 today so from her this morning much wailing " everyone else gets a treat today why can't I leave at 13:30, its not fair". She got over it quick enough but maybe I can phrase things better so that she doesn't always see work as a bad thing that means she can't do certain things. I have tried explaining more about my job, (if mummy doesn't go to work if the computer that runs the warehouse breaks then they won't be able to fill up the trucks that deliver the food to the supermarkets and the supermarkets will have no weetabix, biscuits, cornflakes etc.) which kind of works but not as well as if I was a doctor or a teacher where she can grasp the impact more.

[Doing my best]

I tell my kids that I need to work for the 'fun stuff'. In our family DH (daddy) works to pay for our home and food and school and cars.. I work for holidays, sports, dancing, treats..

I am lucky to only need to work part time, but we wouldn't have the lifestyle we do if I didn't do it.

[wysiwyg]

I hate recruitment agents - that is all.

[peanutter]

Yep. Preach.

[wysiwyg]

The situation is so mucked up, an employer has a job to offer someone wants a job, why on earth is it a good idea to stick someone in the middle who knows nothing about the job or the potential employee to decide whether you ever can meet (and decides this based on previous job title alone) I so want a permanent job so can be out of this corrupt contracting world.

[Teeki]

Hi all - been a long time since I've been in here!

I agree 100% with you about the recruitment agents. They get in the way and I seriously doubt they actually end up with the best candidate. Their criteria never seem right for the actual job and business.

It's funny, I work less now and feel busier. But it's nice, I'm busy with my kids instead of away from them. It's a bit of a catch 22 though, less work = less money and even though we reduced debt we're feeling the pinch. I'm considering a work at home job, it would be 4 hours a day Mon-Fri, can choose my own hours. Would be on top of my current 12 hour/week job, I'm still a bit unsure of it.

[wysiwyg]

Great to hear from you Teeki, it is so quiet in here these days. I miss hearing from everyone.

I hear you on the pinch, DH has been out of work 3 months now - 3 months was the point at which needed to reasses our main expense - childcare! But he has had three interviews this week after months of nothing. Fingers crossed one works out and gets sorted soon.

Could your 4 hours be done in the evening? Sometimes I wish I had gone back to work earlier to have reduced the financial pressures later. So maybe if you could cope with it ok maybe it might enable you to keep going with your current work arrangements for longer perhaps??

[Teeki]

Yeah, it can be done at any time during the day, which makes it pretty attractive. We've been looking at options for next year when DD is at kindy - she'll do full days Thurs & Fri, and every second week a full day Wed. So I'll work on Thurs & Fri, and we're tossing up if I keep just doing two days or do I do three, because with DS in care 3 days and DD in 1, it's the same as now with 2 each but I'll work that extra day.

But with this, we forget the extra daycare and I fit the work in when I can. I'm thinking it's probably a good idea.

To be honest I felt a bit funny about posting in here before, I've been so happy with work and life since I made the change, I felt like I wouldn't have much to say.

Good luck to your DH wysiwyg! It must be stressful to be away from work for so long and come up to your deadline. Great news that he has interviews though, fingers crossed be impresses them all.

[leckert]

I've been lurking lately. Just finished a semester contract and have nothing lined up yet for term 3 onwards and I'm a little worried about getting some consistent work relief teaching at this stage (can't see too many term 3/4 secondary teaching contracts at the moment). Permanent jobs get advertised in 2 weeks time for ed dept starting next year. Just have to hope & pray something comes up for me & I win it for next year. (& something for the rest of this year - DH doesn't get enough work for us to live off but too much on average to get a Centrelink payment)

[wysiwyg]

Teeki - I think is great/important to see the good news in this thread. Is human nature that we all post more not so good things than good things - but is always great to hear when things are working out jobs and parenting wise. I re-investigate every year about options for kinder over childcare as it always seems could be a money saving but have never managed to make it work - I still can't fathom why their aren't more places that offer two x 7.5 days - round here even 2 full days and one half a day is rare it seems.

Leckert - I hope something comes up soon. Is not nice the not knowing - is one of the reasons I am so keen to get permanent work - having to sort something out every six months and deal with the gaps is just rubbish. With DH in an area where he has fixed term contracts too - it is just too unsettling all the time - in 3 weeks I could be out of work too and even if he gets the job he has second interview for a week on Monday - it is unlikely he will have had any wages by then.

A permanent job has come up which is in my suburb - I am perfect for it, it would be perfect - but it is through an agency - and they don't have the understanding of the subject area to see it - I have never not got a job I have been interviewed for, because when I can actually get to speak to the person who would be working for they can see that, but recruitment agents are just in the way. If a job is advertised through my current agency, they won't put me forward because they don't want me to leave the current employer, is just useless - the employers don't get the right people, employees don't get the jobs they want and agencies still make money. (In some areas maybe it doesn't work like this but in my world it certainly does).

AAAhhhh makes me angry just thinking about it. Should get back to trying to fathom my tax return - seems I should be due some back as should DH but whether or not I will owe any in CCB to pay back I am pretty clueless. Maybe my contract won't get renewed and DH will still be jobless and the tax man will come to the rescue :-)

[peanutter]

Any chance you can contact the employer directly?

Win/win ... save them the referral fee, tell them directly how awesome and well suited you are?

[wysiwyg]

Any chance you can contact the employer directly?

Win/win ... save them the referral fee, tell them directly how awesome and well suited you are?

*

PN – if only it was that simple (it should be really).* I am kind of trying that through someone I know who works there but you have no contact point so you can’t really do a direct approach.* This is the way it works – is nonsensical, if you think about the aims of recruitment (matching the right people with right jobs) but works well in preserving income stream for agencies.

You see an advert from a recruitment agent (this arena has its own ecosystem of recruitment it seems – is not like the way Adecco, Hudson etc. work), it give zero details about the company and the location (if you watch the adverts and do your homework enough you can have a guess) – you phone up the agent listed in the advert – they try to suss out if they want to divulge who the client is to you (mainly this means they talk about the job spec but don’t divulge location or company right until the end),* if they decide they will, you have a bit of a conversation but still not that much detail.* Then they send you an email which you have to reply to stating you agree to be solely represented by them for specified position, then you can get the job spec and then you send them a CV tailored to the job spec – then they decide if they will put you forward (they write a bit of blurb a bit like a cover letter about you – given most have zero practical experience in the field the value of this is doubtful).* You only ever find out any details of the hiring manager once you have an interview.* (Even in the interview you are not meant to exchange any contact details – because everything should go through the agency – so I have had an interview in the past where interviewer is handing out their business card to you ‘under the table’ like some sort of drug deal!).* Given that the software system I work with is only used in relatively big organisations actually locating the hiring manager without some sort of inside track is virtually impossible. **If you do go outside the normal paths you risk the wrath of the agencies (in the past I went for a job through an agency, and then inadvertently ended up speaking to the hiring manager directly and it turned out that the agency didn’t have the authorisation to be advertising for that position anyway – and I was the one who was accused by the agency of being unethical!!) which can affect future job prospects. Also companies are often may not be that keen because supposedly the whole benefit to them of going through the agency is because they don’t have the time to spend on doing the recruiting – so you have to be a little careful from that angle on direct approaches also.


The whole thing is shonky, people tell me you just have to learn to “play the game” – but I am just no good at it, all the half truths, secrecy and ulterior motives really bothers me. *I am not unusual in my perspective on how dodgy it is in this particular ecosystem but other people are better at just accepting that it is the way it is and you just have to go along with it, and learn how to play the game.