thread: Worrying about this when i really shouldn't...

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2005
    Christchurch NZ

    Worrying about this when i really shouldn't...

    Hi guys any help on this one woulf be of great help.

    Right i am in a Job - or should i say career with a very large firm. My job is high stress - pretty well paid, travel car etc the lot... I hate it. I am now five weeks pg and really do not want ot come back to this job - the only reason i haven't quit before now is we were TTC and i was hoping for that way out.

    We are advertising presently for an assistant - the one i was meant to get in September last year when my old boss (who left on maternity leave) finally said she definately wasn't coming back. We are not employing someone of the same background and skill as me that could take over from me if i left. But i know that i am leaving and not that far away and i do not want the person we are employing to have to go through this job as a one man band like i had to for the first year or so before they get the pisture and employ someone else. They are not good at employing staff in a prompt manner.

    So my question is - do i not care and just tell them at 20weeks, wait till 12 weeks and tell them then? I don't know i guess i don't know what to do and therefore what to ask...

  2. #2
    Fire Fly Guest

    AJ, i can see your dilemma.

    I told my boss at 5 wks with my first child. Only because i was doing x-rays and anaesthetics all the time and heavy lifting, so it wasnt in my best interest not to tell her. I had a good repore with my boss to so i actually think that made it harder for me to tell her. IYKWIM.

    My boss was also hopeless at being organised as far as staff went to. That was another reason i told her. 9 months doesnt take long at all to come around and if your position is pretty full on its going to probably take that amount of time to teach someone else. Follow me.

    It might actually be a big relief once you have told them. Dont stress though, thats the last thing you need now at this crucial time.

    Good luck with your decision

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW

    AJ I was in a similar job to Kerrie and had to tell my boss ASAP because of the high risks to being PG, but if I had the chance I would have waiting until 12 weeks just to get past that first yuck trimester and then go from there. I can only say what I would have done though...

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Mar 2005


    AJ, that's tough,but ultimatley hon, it's not your prob after you leave,if u don't intend to come back! God I just reread that and no matter what it's not going to come out the way it did in my head? I'm not being rude honestly, but you need to look after yourself now. I assume it'll be up to you to trainn them, and because you've done such a good job there then won't they b ok? I'sd tell tell them at 12wks then you r safe.

    Good Luck and I hope I haven't offended u in any way sweetie.xx

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2005
    Christchurch NZ

    Thanks anyway guys - looks like i won't have to tell taht that i am pg anymore - as i am not) but what do i do to explain why i wasn't at work yesterday - and now i just want to quit in general. DH are in deep discuusion over this one... May go on for sometime.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2005
    Christchurch NZ

    Well i went in and told my boss about the M/c as i have had to take time off work and all and he immediately kinda swings round and says - so does that mean you are trying - i mumbled something like doesn't mean we were trying these things do just happen - rather unconvincingly - so at least now he knows that at some stge in the future i am going to be leaving to have a bubs - he is one of those observant men in gneral - rare bread i know- but yeah he will be watching me from now on...Even things like me not having alcoholic drinks on my exoenses will twig him - so might have to buy some for random people to confuse him...