Maybe there is something about your situation which the drs are right to be concerned about - I don't know I don't have a medical degree.

All I can do is tell you about my experiences.

I had bad 3rd degree tearing after my first was born nearly to my rectum (along with some of those other embarrasing symptoms you mentioned). No-one ever suggested to me with my second that a c-section might be a consideration because of this. (maybe because I went through the midwife program rather then seeing a dr or ob?) I was very concerned about tearing again, However with my second child, I had no tearing AT ALL. It surprised the hell out of me. I also had no other complications. With my third, I also manage to give birth once again without any tearing (just some minor grazing). All my babies successively got bigger too (3.5kg - 51cm, 3.6kg - 53cm, 4.32kg - 53cm).

So don't think that just because you tore badly the first time, you will neccessarily tear the next time too. Having said that maybe there is something different with your situation then with mine? But if you are not happy / are concerned about the c-section, then definitely seek out a second opinion.