hey emma,
i feel for you that you had to go through a birthing experience like that. it sounds very similar to my sister who after 13 hours of labor that wasn't progressing enough, the baby hadn't even dropped properly (now we know he couldn't) the dr's had to interviene with the midwife (she wanted to keep trying) and give her a emergency c-section, and the ob told her then that she couldn't have given birth naturally. my nephew was born in distress, the mother was distressed and lost a lot of blood resulting in a transfusion and i believe she had traumatic stress too for quite some time afterwards.
but she said she did feel disappointed that she couldn't birth naturally, but will not put her next baby in danger and is opting straight for a caesar.
it is a big decision to have to make especially when it's your child, and i'm with you i don't think there's any harm in trying, i just have a bit of doubt that i'm trying to overcome and make the right decision, but hopefully after a few more opinions from a couple of obs i'll make that decision.