Sounds like you already have some good plans for helping Kate. You probably would get more help from women who have the same condition as yourself yo ask advise from.
Me also can physically have an epidural but as I got an infection almost 20 years ago which is what caused my polyneuropathy nothing can enter my spine. No aneathetist will do that even know physically there is no reason they couldn't do it except for the risk it would place on my already deteriorating nerves.
I am looking forward to pregnancy to relief some of the discomfort (not thats thats why I want a baby) except not so excited about what happens after birth. I guess next time I will be more preparred then last time. Its hard when you can't see the problem. Wiggling around in agony and no one can see what the problem is. I am lucky in that way that I work where I birth and the midwives and Drs know that is out of character for me.