hi - this may come across as a "poor me" whinge, but I was hoping to chat to other women who are or have dealt with SPD or other pelvic instability during pregnancy.
I guess today is a bad day both physically and psychologically and i don't feel I'm coping at all. tomorrow might be better. I just feel isolated and humiliated everytime I go out in public and I'm shuffling along like 100 year old. I've even been out once with a 87 year old, who was looking after me - was very sweet but it's just not right, it should be the other way around. There's so many things I want to do, but I have to plan the day so I can only walk so far. It's affecting my work and every other part of my life.
All social activities now have to be planned so I don't have to walk up/down stairs or walk very far from the car. How are other people dealing with this without going crazy?
I guess I'm also overtired from being up 5-6 times overnight and trying to deal with the pain.
Not a whinge at all, coping (or not coping, in hindsight) with SPD was more challenging to me than cancer treatment. At least when I was having cancer treatment I had physical assistance and emotional support. With SPD, not only are you faced with the pain and debilitation, many other people have absolutely no idea what is wrong (all pregnant women are uncomfortable, right?) so it's very emotionally isolating. Even my DH who I had cried to on the phone just about every day for three months was still shocked when he got home and the penny dropped just how hard I was doing it and how much pain I was in.
I used to laugh about being overtaken by the grannies with their walking frames. I think now if I'd resorted to having a walking frame too I might've recieved a little more assistance/support from the people around me who, down to a person, had absolutely no clue about the severity of my experience.
My pain psychological aid was reminding myself - constantly - this will pass. This is temporary and it will pass. I will be better/pain free eventually. Break everything down into little chunks, let go of the pretence of even being able to cope. If work is getting too difficult, then cut back or just start your mat leave early. Get a temporary disability sticker for your car (so you can park right next to the door) - I didn't do this but it's one thing I regretted in hindsight. My workplace did however let me park in a disable car park half the time (ie when it wasn't being used by staff members with more severe mobility issues than mine). See your doctor and physio and ask for a pain management review. Every little bit helps. And remember it's not forever, you will get past this.
I don't think I did cope. I just got through it because there was no other choice. And I agree with Marydean about people not understanding. Even people who were sympathetic, really didn't comprehend just how bad it all was and how much I wasn't coping. I think also because I know how pointless complaining is (it isn't going to fix the problem) I didn't, and thus people thought that meant things weren't really that bad and I was coping.
Sorry this probably isn't really helping, but I don't know what advice to give you, other then to tell you "I understand" and make sure you complain!
You are not moaning at all, SPD can be so debilitating. I found crutches really helped, partially because they meant I could move at a semi-reasonable speed, but also because they were an obvious sign of my disability so strangers became less frustrated with my lack of speed. A pelvic belt was also really helpful in easing the pain. I also used a wheelchair from time to time (ikea, for example, where they are available for hire) and that meant I could keep up with my family when shopping.
Night-time was agony for me. I have since been told of the tip to use an old pair of tights and tie a pillow between your knees so stop them moving in the night. If I had known that I would have tried it but other than that I have no good tips for sleep.
Since having my babies my pelvis has been much better, but I am seeing a chiropractor who specialises in pregnancy and he makes a huge difference to me.
Thanks ladies - it means a lot to have other people understand
I keep telling myself it's just temporary and other people are worse off and cope with things. My cousin was paralysed at the age of 21 and later became a gold-medal winning paraolympian, so I feel I should take inspiration from him and just get on with things. But somdays the pain and fatigue and frustration of it can get on top of me. I even had a dream last night that I was in pain and woke up to agony in my hips.
I think I'm sort of judging myself - that I should just get through this somehow. I feel like I'm doing all I can to try to manage it - I'm throwing osteopathy, physiotherapy and acupuncture at it as well as doing clinical pilates and am considering hydrotherapy.....maybe I've been expecting a miracle cure and am just realising that this won't get better and will proably only get worse until birth. Just cross my fingers that goes well and it doesn't end up worse.
Marydean - that's so surprising that you coped better with cancer treatment than with SPD, but I understand what you mean about others' not understanding. Happily I am well supported by DH and my Mum. I'm going to the GP on Monday and will ask for a temporary disable sticker then.
It's not much fun at all is it, I could barely walk at 22 weeks with dd2, I saw a physio who specialized in treating pregnant women and he got ne back on my feet. Heat and ice packs are a god send especially first thing in the morning to get you moving after a painfully night.
Mine was gone by a week after dd was born and no sign of it this time either (fingers crossed)
Hi there, I know what you're saying. I don't have anything really to add, except that I know how you feel - I don't think that my SPD is as bad as many others' (I am still able to work part-time at 26 weeks, just...) but even still it's debilitating and depressing and sometimes overwhelming.
I'm just holding on to the thought that, like a previous poster mentioned, this will pass soon.
I've had SIJD (sacro-iliac joint dysfunction) since week 9. Although, from what I've read I don't think it's quite as severe as SPD it's still quite debilitating. For the last few weeks I've begrudging been using a walking stick. I told my friends it was one way to make me feel 30+ years older in just a few minutes. I do find it good in crowds though as moving to avoid people was quite painful (unplanned move), however people now see the stick and try to get out of my way.
Is work aware of your condition and can they adapt your work to make it easier for you?
I note you are in Melb. Have you contacted the Pelvic Instability Association? They are the first entry if you google pelvic instability. Their website has some supportive information etc. Another BB member referred me to their site. It looks like a good source of information.
I think the hardest thing for me atm is admitting the things I can't do and asking for help. DH is willing to help, I just have to learn that this is temporary and to accept his offers. Easier said than done.
I think the best thing I've done is found a really good support network. People who I can vent to and they will do what they can to assist, or comfort me. Unfortunately tiredness does compound these issues and makes it all seem harder to deal with, so make sure you get plenty of rest when you can. The last few weeks I've just spent one day of the weekend restting to give my body (and mind) a chance to catch up and cope.
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Coping with SPD - physically and psychologically
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