Prenatal Depression - My Vent

[babidevil]

Im nearly 7 weeks pregnant and have been diagnosed with prenatal depression, more severe than what I had with my youngest daughter Maddison. I have to wait until Im 12 weeks before I can be put on antidepressants which my doctor says is a must because Im on suicide watch. I have days where I feel I just cant go on which I know is selfish because my children need me. And now Ive had another sharp blow to add to it all...my family isnt happy that Im pregnant again and they dont accept the father of my baby, they havent even taken the time to get to know him...all they care about is how my ex husband feels about it all! It has nothing to do with my ex husband! So I told them seeing they like him so much and are more concerned about him than their own flesh and blood, why dont they adopt him and leave me alone. All this added stress isnt helping me and Im at my wits end on what to do. I need as much support as I can get but now Im getting pushed away by my own family. Im 33 years old, already have 3 gorgeous daughters and Im paying off a mortgage....my own home which I build when I was only 19!! Now I have no idea what to do or who to turn to for advice, Im sick of crying, Im sick of feeling this way and Im sick of my family trying to run my life when they cant even control their own lives.

Talking to them about how I feel is no use as they dont listen, they still treat me like a little child. I know I shouldnt let this get to me and under any other circumstances it wouldnt but when I need my family to help me get through this tough 9 months and they push me away it gets too unbearable.

I feel like Im stuck in this big dark hole with no way out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for hearing me vent!

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

First off, big hugs to you

Have you sat down and spoken to your family about this? Explained to the that you need their support, not their criticism? If not, I would definitely reccommend it, but if you have, then maybe its better just to not have much contact with them. When I was diagnosed with depression, I lost a lot of friends because I had to say to them 'Either be there for me, or leave me alone so I can do it myself'. But (obviously because I'm here typing!) the friends that stayed helped me so much, I don't even take antidepressants any more!

At the end of the day the thing that'll help the most is surrounding yourself with helpful, understanding and (most of all) supportive people. Like us ladies here on BB!

[Wednesday]

I have had both pre and post natal depression it's horrible. You poor thing I wish I could give you a great big hug. My advice is to concentrate on you and your baby, forget about your family and worry about yourself, your kids and your partner. Trust me when your depressed you need to get rid of anything that is making you more depressed eg. family. Keep only the positive around you and deal with the negative later. If you can talk to a councellor, even though you may feel weird speaking to a stranger it helps. Concentate on you as much as possible and eliminate things that are upsetting you. Hope this advice has helped. Take care.

[satya]

Give your family some time to accept the pregnancy. It's probably come as a huge shock to them. They probably didn't know you were TTCing and just weren't expecting your big announcement. Due to your history they may not have expected you to go through another pregnancy and are very likely to be extremely worried about you right now and are struggling to find words that wont upset you. Nothing excuses their comments about your ex though.

Please don't take this the wrong way but depressed people often push people away and don't realise they are doing it - they feel they are being pushed away. If this is happening to you, you will not be able to see it, but those around you will. I watched this happen with my ex husband who suffered from depression, it was really hard to witness it and I felt completely unable to help him and it got increasingly difficult to communicate with him. Perhaps this is what is happening with your family right now.

My dad was not exactly over the moon when I announced my pregnancy. He just wasn't expecting the announcement and was very worried about my future (things were rocky with my DF and I) and my finances. He was worried about his little girl (I was 41 at the time, but I'm still his little girl). We just kept spending time with my family and little by little he warmed to the idea and by the third tri he was excited about it and now he's delighted to have a grandson. He also thinks the world of my partner yet I can assure you he didn't at the time of the pregnancy announcement. Sometimes things just take time.

[BellyBelly]

Can you make it along to the pre & post-natal support group? I know it's far, just suggesting

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/emotional-support-groups

I found simmering at home until I exploded to be the worst thing to do, getting out and talking to others so I knew I was not alone was the thing that helped.

[chris]

Babidevil
I know what you mean, I have family problems also.

I have gotten support by going to my GP who refered me to one service who then refered me on .....and so on.

I was already on anti dep when I fel preg but had to reduce my medications.
Up here in NSW the hospital that I go to have "Family Care midwives" and "ACE" workers who are helping me.
I have been through alot in the last month and they are keeping a very close eye on me at the moment.
I hope you have some good close friends who can help you through this time.
Stand up for yourself and let the family know that your not a child that they can control anymore.
My family the problem is that I am not the "fave". Plus I live too far away (30 min drive).

Take care
Chris