Hi ladies,

I haven't posted in this forum before - I don't get to spend a lot of time on line, so am only an infrequent BB poster anyway, well, I guess I wanted to get that bit out of the way in case it is a while between posts for me.

My story - it what brings me here at this time - in a very brief nutshell....

A few years ago, I saw a psychic, who was very accurate, (I have seen others that have not been that accurate). At that time, I was told that I would have "2 or 3" children.

So which is it, 2 or 3???????
I used to think that the "3" was angel 2 and our two DD's as they were all within a few years (I had a m/c trying for DD1, and then we had DD1 & DD2).

Initially when pg with DD2, and soon after she was born, we felt our family was complete, but then when she was a few months old, we decided we would like another. In July, I found out I was pg - I was ecstatic, we both were. And it seemed so "perfect", there would be the same age gap between DD2 and the new bub as there is between DD1 & DD2.

But as much as I wanted this, I just didn't feel confident this time round......
and I miscarried last week (on Thursday, I was just over 9 weeks). Perhaps I knew? Or was it "mind over matter"?

So is this the "or 3" - wanted but not quite here?

I love my two girls dearly, but am feeling deeply sad right now.
I know I am still grieving my loss, but I guess I do want to know, which is it, 2 or 3???????
How much choice do we have, and how much is pre-determined?

TTC is not an easy journey for us. And there is our age to consider (we are in our 40s),
I don't know, I guess I am just looking for answers......

thanks for reading.