Thanks so much for your answers girls I really appreciate it

Marydean - your words are so true, I feel hubby does not give me any emotional support that I need and we have spoken about it, but it still doesnt change. His family are not that emotional iykwim? they dont show it much? Julia doesnt even hug or cuddle him much at all, whereas my family and I are very much cuddlers and I love you etc. He shows me in doing things around the house and providing, hes a doer.

Honestly I would be happy to see him and see how he is but at the same time im so ashamed at who I am at the moment with my OCD and what I look like. I really need to work on that for me not for anyone else.

yes Im a googler too TD, I cant help myself! If he needs my help I would really love to help him, I do hope all is ok with him. How did you stop thinking about what could have been?

Thanks so much for your help girls!

Bel
xxx