thanks girls

det, the way you described him was to a T...he always had a angry look but was no way like that he was a teddy bear really, and yes he was my soulmate, we both knew we were made for one another.

funny you mention the "song" thing, i was out with one of his mates, about a month ago, and this band played one of the songs we plyed at his funeral ( this song was also on the radio when i was in labour with liam), so i lost it big time, and since then, im here it on the radio all the time, like when i stopped at the pettrol staion, it was playing through the load speakers, or when i jump in the car to start it, its playing..but i do get the song thing.

my dreams are so real, that i wake up in tears only to realise its only a dream and he is no longer here with us, but a journal sounds like a good idea, as i have also dreamt about were i want to move to, and the people there.

my lamp next to my bed also flickers, i know he is behind this, he was an electrician, and i can talk to him in my room and then my lamp starts doing weird things when i ask him things......