Acknowledging her first birthday.

[DaintreeDream]

In September my brother is getting married, an old friend of mine will be at the wedding, we do not have much contact these days however he has always referred to me as the little sister he never had. The week before my brothers wedding would have been our friend daughters first birthday however sadly she was born sleeping, I would love to acknowedge her birthday, little B is my friends only child, but I do not know how or if to bring it up... please help me know what is the right thing to do?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Perhaps arrange for a bunch of flowers to be delivered to her with a note, 'Happy Birthday (name)'? That way you can acknowledge her milestone, but give mum some space as well, she might want to hide for the day.

[boobaloo]

maybe give him a balloon, and acknowledge that the day must be difficult, and that you hope he's doing ok... just something simple you kow?

[Lily Dust]

I like the combination of the 2 other posts. Delivery of balloons, balloons are innocent and child-like to me. I remember when I miscarried I wished I was given ballons...no idea why and then when DD was born a friend sent 5 ballons in all different colours and it brought tears to my eyes. I think what Berenice said about letting Mum have space is perfect.

What a beautiful and special friend you are hun x

[luna moth]

A pot plant of some sort? I think they make beautiful commemmorative gifts. I get so much out of the ones I've been given for various events.

[ButterflyForever]

How about a candle to light to remember her. I bought a beautiful butterfly one for my friend when she lost her Bub and someone close to me also bought one for me on my daughters first anniversary,it's very special to me.

[Riss10]

This is a tricky one as they may want to grieve in silence. Perhaps a bunch of flowers or a plant as others have suggested would be lovely idea. Please don't write "happy birthday x" and leave on the doorstep - I would think it was some kind of sick joke! x

[Rach75]

on my katys 1st bday I wanted to hide from the world to curl up in a corner and be alone...but I received a beautfiul bunch of flowers with always in our heart remebering katy today it made my heart ache but was nice to know others thought of her on her day

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Aww hun how thoughtful of you, i think the idea of flowers is beautiful, maybe instead of 'happy birthday' you could get a little poem or something and write in loving memory, thinking of you today!

[DaintreeDream]

Thankyou for all of your responces. It is hard, it will be at my brothers wedding that I will see my friend so I was thinking it was a good escape for them and I am so unsure of what to do, I want to acknowledge her as I personally think it is important however I just do not know if I should and if I do if I should just say something and give them a hug or if I should get something like a candle (I think this is a lovely idea) it was to let them know that I am thinking of them and their little girl.