Baby Lost - Heart Broken (Factor V Leiden responsible)

Hey Becc,

Those poems - i am still having tears......

So MSN Messenger

Do you have a hotmail address?

If so i can help you out with it.

Getting more nervous only a couple of hours to go LOL.

Sarah

I know, me too! I'm sorry to make you teary when you are already in for a stressful afternoon.

Couple of hours to go...not too long now. Don't worry, I think we are probably all the same when it comes to medical appointments - nervous as hell! As I have said before, I still have problems with my blood pressure and I see my GP regularly to have it checked. I get so nervous each time I see him (worrying that my BP won't have gone down since the last appointment) that I don't think he's got an accurate reading yet! I'm working against myself, LOL.

Yes, I have a hotmail address...

Hi Becc,

Dont be sorry, i actually like to cry about Katelyn because it makes me feel more in touch with her.

i know what you mean about the whole blood presure thing. I have a high reading but it is not quite high enough to go onto medication (thank god) this has been going on for about 3-4 years. The funny thing was when i was in hospital having Katelyn my blood presure was the best it has ever been. Go figure i think it should have been sky high from the stress!

Ok for MSN messenger go to this page - http://messenger.msn.com. That should tell you how to go about it. You can add me as a contact if you want my address is KAB2803@hotmail.com.

Hopefully talk to you later.

Thanks Sarah :)

That looks fairly straight forward. Even I should be able to manage that! Will give it a go and with any luck I will be able to chat soon! I have a 14 year old half sister who lives a couple of hours from me. She will be so impressed - she has been in to me to work out messenger for a long time. She of course, being a child of the computer age knows 10 times more about computers than I do, LOL.

All the best for your appointment. You tell those nerves who's boss! Seriously though, I will be thinking about you. Will wait to hear from you on Thursday...

Hey Sarah, how did it go??

Hey Becc,

I went unbelievably well - YAY!

I am feeling really positive today - Still miss her like crazy though.

Well i posted it in the other forum but i will paste it here for you.

Thanks so much for thinking of me.

I replied to your post under Georgia's story.

How are you going today?

Talk to you soon.

Love Sarah

As for me i had the most amazing appointment with my OB - or should i say the interigation because i fired off so many questions im sure that i came across a bit mad!!!LOL. So anyway we talked about Katelyn and FVL and then came around to discussing what we will do with the next pregnancy. I asked him what his plan would be for me and he straight away offered more than i would have asked for. I will be getting 4 weekly ultrasounds until week 28 when this will change to fortnightly. He also wants to do doppler analysis on the blood flow through the placenta, he has not hesitation on delivering early if he suspects that something is wrong. At this stage he will want to induce me at 38 weeks if the baby looks well rather than waiting. All of this i was very happy about. He also told me that the specialist in Perth is practically a world expert on FVL and clotting in pregnancy so i feel very lucky to be seeing him at the end of July. My OB is even going to ring him in the meantime with some of my more indepth questions so that i can try and relax a bit. What more could i ask for. Also they used to work together so i really feel that i will be in the best possible hands next time around. Even though he delivered Katelyn we didnt meet him until after we found out that she had passed away. So now all i need to do is get pregnant.............

Also he only charged me $61 for 1 and a quarter hours!!! It was cheaper than going to my GP!

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becc,

Yes we are 2 hours behind you.

Same plan hey - interesting. I guess that there is not much more than that, that they can do. Other than having an ultrasound machine and technican installed in our homes! I think if they did that though i would be on it 24/7 for the 9 months!

Ok so you said that you are not sure if you can go back to your OB. That is totally understandable. I get the feeling you think that he should have handled things better?? Im sorry if you feel that way - that must be very hard to deal with.

Thanks for the encouragment about a full term health baby not being too far away. I honestly belive that things will go our way next time - surely this couldnt happen again......and i have to cling onto that because i am fully aware that i wont always feel so postive during the pregnancy.

I had a huge cry over the poems and everything aswell. Im sure all of us did. I am totally bummed though because i forgot to bring the two that i have in too post. Well i will do that tomorrow.

I have to totally (and whole heartedly) agree with what you said - I have to admit though, that as much as I want to let go of the sadness and move on, sometimes I find it hard to because I feel like if I let go of the sadness I'm letting go of Georgia IYKWIM? I feel exactly the same about Katelyn - i want to move on and be happy because i know that is what she would want. But i also cant let go of the sadness that i feel for her. I guess it may always be that way. I am searching for away to be at peace with this. Meaning that i can accept that i will always miss and love her but in a way that i can enjoy remembering her without the intense pain. I guess that this may come in a few years......only time will tell as they say. I once said that i didnt want Katelyn to become my past that i always wanted her to stay my present. I think now that she will always remain my present because she will always be with me. She is a part of me and that will never change.

This is just so hard isnt it. Trying to find a balance of how to mourn our little ones and also try to be happy for us, our partners and our friends and family.

Well talk later.

Sarah

Angel - i have been thinking about you....How are you doing? I hope that you are going ok.

Tootie - I just wanted to say that i have also spoken to my OB about the post natal depression thing. He says that he doesnt think that i am depressed just grieving, which he also said are very similar. I did mention the whole thing about not wanting to associate with other people right now because i cant cope with their trivial stiff. He said to me that have i considered that i have the big picture right and that the people around me are wrong in forcing me to get over it because it will make them feel better - how is that for support !!!!! Also i discussed it with the chaplain after i saw the OB and she agreed with the whole grieving not depressed scenario. So that was nice to here. I see you are 33 weeks today - well done.

Love Sarah

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Hello me lovelies,

Sarah - I am soooo glad that your appt went well with the OB and that you were able to get some answers and direction! It really makes a difference to how you feel doesn't it? I'm really thrilled for you! I'm also glad to hear that you discussed the whole PND thing and that you are feeling comfortable on that front too. I really think you are doing a marvellous job in terms of expressing your feelings and I'm glad to hear that the professionals also agree with how you are feeling and that it is grief and not PND. It's right to say that the both are very similar (as we discussed before) but different at the same time and personally I'm really pleased that everything is going along positively for you as I know you were pretty worried about the appt (understandably!).

Becc - I can understand if you wouldn't want to go back to the OB you saw. We found it too difficult to see the OB we were seeing for our 2 m/c for a number of reasons. She didn't want to answer our questions and was very dismissive of our situation (and my soaring anxiety levels) and we found her staff also very insensitive. We also felt that we couldn't go back to her rooms even.....every time we'd been there, we'd been given bad news so we really felt for that reason that we also had to move on. Obviously everyone's reasons are different, but I just thought I'd share ours with you. I must say that seeing someone new has been really good for us as he has a different approach and has been really accommodating of our needs, which I guess have been more demanding than those of others IYKWIM?

Becc and Sarah, I truly believe that beautiful little babies are just waiting to come into your lives. You have been through such a terribly tough journey and continue to travel upon a difficult road, yet you have shown just what wonderful Mum's you both are! I really think you should both be very proud of yourselves for how you are handling yourselves in the midst of such turmoil and grief and for expressing your feelings so well, which helps not only the both of you, but also in turn helps many others out there with similar experiences! You both have ups and downs which is understandable, but I can see some really positive things in posts from both of you and it really warms my heart!

Becc,

Firstly you know not to worry about the length of your post. I am only too happy to exchange feelings with you so dont appologise.
I know the feeling of when you start writing and all this other stuff just comes out!

I think that we are both actually aiming to be at the same place with the feelings about our babies. Mind you we both lost them in the same month (march) so this is probably not too unusual.

I hear what you are saying about your OB becoming a little too complacent with your care. Im just so sorry that you feel this way. The first thing that sticks out is that you trusted him, and why wouldnt you of. Like you said he is a so called expert in his field and you and i are both so new to this pregnancy business so if the doc says its fine then it is fine. Most women would be the same.

The day that we found out that Katelyn had died i had only made a special appointment with my GP because i felt a bit off something wasnt quite right but i couldnt place it. He spent about 20 minutes telling me that it is all ok and even though i thought my belly was a bit small i am tall and some people just carry that way. Then he tried to hear the heartbeat and well you know the rest...... He certaintly didnt expect that to happen either.

I know how you feel about the if only's. I sort of think the same. What if i had of gone earlier. A few weeks before i had gone in and saw another doc when i wasnt feeling well (having migraines and fainting etc) and we heard the heartbeat and said that all was fine. I think too that if i had requested an ultrasound at that point they might have been able to identify the clot and then treat it and Katelyn's outcome might also have been different. I also think what if i had just taken some stupid aspirin then a clot might not of developed and Katelyn might still be alive. I try not to blame myself however, i was so new to the pregnancy thing. My GP didnt think being pregnant was a very big deal and was sure that everything would be fine. I had no control over what happened. You and i both know that if we could have saved Georgia and Katelyn that we would in a heartbeat - no questions asked. Im sorry that this haunts you as you say.

As for the way that he treated you after the birth - how can i express how mad i am at him for treating you this way ????? How could he say those things to you and think that they were helping. I think that maybe it would be a good idea for you to investigate another OB before TTC again. I say this because now that i am sorted with mine i feel alot more confident about TTC again and therefore alot more positive on a day to day basis. My GP on the other hand was very supportive and actually said that he thought out of all his patients we are the worst this could happen too.

You havent brought me down with all this. I want to be able to support you and if that means that you have to right a post that takes up two pages that is fine with me.

Im sorry that there isnt anything i can say that will make you feel better. I know how much you loved Georgia and i know that you would have gone to the end of the earth to save her. This is not your fault.

Tootie - thanks for saying that you think i am doing a good job of expressing my feelings its very difficult sometimes as you know. Also i cant tell you how good it feels to have someone tell you that you have a beautiful baby waiting to come to you. Sometimes i feel that i am never going to be able to have another baby (however you are living proof that it will happen!). Thanks for saying that we are wonderful mums. Nobody has said that to me before and it means so much. Thanks

Love Sarah

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Hey guys,

Thanks for your kind words guys! I'm glad that I can help in some small way. A lot of the time I feel totally and utterly useless to tell you the truth and feel sad that I can't do something more practical to help, but I figure the more that I encourage everyone to be open about their feelings (to the extent to which they are comfortable of course), the better it will be for everyone in terms of grieving and healing (hopefully!). Interesting I should be referred to as the 'mother hen' too LOL - I actually feel very protective of each and every one of the girls on these forums so it was a nice compliment!

Becc - I've just logged back on and realised that I missed a very crucial post of yours as we were posting at the same time! Sorry about that! I too am amazed at the things your OB said to you. I can't possibly begin to imagine how that felt....and I thought I'd had terrible things said to me! Nothing compares to the comments you received from him and I'm just gobsmacked.

Whilst I remember it - once you girls have got messenger sorted out, feel free to send me an e-mail and we'll organise to have an online sometime soon ok? I'm going through paranoia of my own kind 24/7 ATM LOL. As I'm sure everyone understands all I want is to get this little tiger safely into the world and each and every day I panic that it's not going to happen! He seemed to be having a party in my tummy but has been quieter over the past couple of days so of course I'm totally crapping myself over it. I've got an OB appt tomorrow so hopefully all will be fine (as it has been every other time) but I'll talk to him all the same about it of course!

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Hi Girls,

I have just read all your posts.

Firstly can i just saying that i am having a HUGE down day today. Last night i just lost it and i cant seem to hold back the tears......

I just feel like i cant do this. I just miss her so much that my heart just hurts. I feel like there is this huge weight on my chest and i have to learn to deal with that forever. I dont know how to live without my precious daughter. We had so many plans and my life has just fallen in a heap. I just feel that it is so cruel to be given something so unique and amazing for such a short time and then have her taken away long before we were ready to let her go. I dont know how i can ever be truly happy again because the sadness of her death will always remain with me to the day that i die. But i also feel that Katelyn wouldnt want me to be like this.

I really want to be pregnant with another baby but the wait is killing me. Can i clarify that i am not trying to use a new baby to make myself feel better. I just want to move forward with my life and i cant do that until another pregnancy is progressing and i have a success. I still have 15 days to go before i can even test and that is if my period doesnt show up before then. I feel like i am never going to be blessed with another baby. I feel like i am doing everything i can to make sure we get pregnant (even the whole pillow under bum thing LOL) and i just dont know how i will cope with it not happening this month. This is partly due to having such long cycles. Normally it is 32 days but because of the mega loooong AF i had at the start of this month i am not sure when i am ov or when my AF is due. So we decided that we would test if we got to 40 days without any signs. Which is also what we did with Katelyn. Also because we got pregnant so quickly with Katelyn i expected (silly i know) to do that again this time but it didnt happen last month. In hindsight i am glad because i needed more time with Katelyn but now i feel as though i am truly ready to welcome another soul into our family.

I do feel deep down that we will have another baby soon and everything will be ok but sometimes i just dont believe that it is possible IYKWIM.

Sorry for being so down its just that it has hit me like a ton of bricks and i cant get past it today.

Tootie - I also see you as a "mother hen" you have been truly wonderful to me when you have also been in need (anxiety wise). I believe that you are going to have a extremely healthy, beautiful baby because that is what you deserve. I hope that your appointment goes very well and that you get some of that much needed reassurance. Great idea about us organising a chat on messenger. Sounds like a plan. Have to be soon though before we know it you will be very busy with tiger!!!

Becc - Im so sorry that all this has happened to you. Even though i love to share our feelings i really wish you didnt have to have the memories like what happened with your premonitions. You are an exellent mother and Georgia is so lucky to have you as her mother. What more can i say.......but i know exactly how you feel.

Well talk to you later ladies, sorry if i brought you down too with this.

Love Sarah

PS - I think that we are the queens of long messages LOL

Hi Sarah

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day and i understand that wanting another baby will help i think that it will.
I guess bad days will always be with you at the moment and in time you will start to feel a bit better and you will never forget your little girl. I wish i could hug you right now to help you feel a little better. Life is really hard at times and i do not understand why nice people have to go through this.

The pillow thing LOL I also do that but is no fun when a dog jumps on your bed after as we have no doors on the bedrooms.

I hope that A/F does not arrive for you and that it is good news this month. If not just think of all the fun that you are having trying.


Sending you lots of :hugs: :hugs: and :pinkdust: :bluedust:

Hi Michelle,

Thanks so much for that. I wish i could give you a big hug too - all you have been through lately.

Thanks for also saying that you think i will feel better when i have a new baby to think about. I am 100% sure that i want one but i sometimes wonder if i am in the right frame of mind IYKWIM. I want to be able to give the best of me to a new baby. Grieving for Katelyn is a long term thing though and i cant wait anymore to have a new baby.

Im glad that i am not the only one who does the pillow thing! LOL. What you said about all the fun of trying is right its just that when you want it to happen you want it to happen. I know that you understand what i mean by that.

Well i hope that you are having a better day than me but thanks for the :hugs: - straight back at you.

Love Sarah

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P.S. The pillow thing made me laugh too. Maybe you could try standing on your head afterwards too! LOL.

Thanks Becc,

I guess we all have our up days (yesterday morning for me) and we all have our mega down days (today).

Also my dad just came in and told me that he has the FVL gene and that he is a carrier but it doesnt affect his health. I am not sure about just being a carrier so i have asked on the FVL website to clarify.

Anyway thanks so much for the :hugs: as i said to Michelle - straight back at you.

So i am assuming that you dont do the pillow thing????Lol at least i can smile at that.

Love Sarah

Hi Sarah

You sound just like me with i want it to happen now.
As for the right frame of mind i think that you will never be 100% sure that you are doing the right thing but it will help you and anyone else going though the loss of a baby heal.

I can not wait to be pregnant agin just to help me with the pain and the moment all i think about is if only we waited a couple of more weeks and it only the doctors were more helpful when it happened. But that was then and this is now and back to the legs in the air.

I have not done the standing on my head but i have got myself on to the floor and got my bum up as far as i can. Maybe get your DH to hold your legs up LOL.

Here's to a better afternoon for us all. Well i'm feeling better i have had two cream cakes.

.....

Hey

Michelle - I honestly dont think that waiting a few weeks would have changed anything for you. You were following your heart and that can never be the wrong thing to do. Like i have said to you before this is your life and it is not up to your doc (or anyone else) to pass judgement as to when you should try or when you should wait. A word of warning though. I have read that you shouldnt try to have your bum up to high because it could block off the cervix. Just the height of a small pillow. Gee i wish we didnt have to even think about that. I could try to get my DH to hold my legs up but since he is asleep about 30 seconds later i think i would have more luck relying on the pillow LOL. He has this incredible nack to fall asleep at anytime anywhere no matter what is going on with him. Its frustrating sometimes i wish i could be more like him rather than lying awake stressing. excellent that you are feeling better - mmmmmmmm cream cakes. Sux being at work.

Becc - Yes my dad has always had very good health but FVL makes you more prone to strokes and DVT etc so its never good news to have it. So you are another avid pillow follower. Well maybe that made the difference and got us all up the duff in the first place. Heres to it working for us as soon as we want it. As in NOW for me.LOL

Well i am feeling a little better thanks to both of you.

Chat to you later.

Sarah

Hi sarah

Thanks for telling me about your legs and bum being to high i would never have known.
Part of me is saying lets try now but the other part is saying wait till next month.

LOL at you DH falling asleep. Mine doesn't we try and sneek to bed when Kimberley is asleep in the day time at the weekend. I am surprised that i fell pregnant at all.

Hope work is not to bad for you. Today is my day to myself as kimberley is at day care. I like having the time to myself but i do miss her but then when i pick her up later she will be in a bad mood as she is sleepy.

I must not be doing to bad as i have done some housework.

I was thinking it would be great if they had a big belly belly meet somewhere then we could all meet each other.

Michelle,

I read about the legs in the air thing on a website - i went looking for it again and of course i cant find it now but the definition was small pillow. I remember because i asked my dh if he thought that the pillow i was using was considered small LOL.

I know what you mean about saying try and then not try. Before we made our final decision to start trying i felt like that all the time usually from minute to minute. I even tried writing the strongest feeling down in my diary for the day so i could look back and see what i had felt - Funny they all said TRY!

Work isnt bad at all. i work for my dad. He is an accountant/Financial planner and i am his financial planning assistant so i can kind of do what i want. Still rather be at home though focusing on Katelyn but that is why i decided to cut down to 4 days a week and have Wednesday's off.

Housework - YUK. Unfortunately i pretty much a clean freak so i seem to be cleaning all the time. Id rather not but i cant help it.

It would be great to have a big belly belly meet for all us TTC after a loss, Trying to cope after a loss and of course pregnant after a loss. However i am in country WA so i guess i would be in the minority over this side.

Well talk later

Sarah

Hey chicklets,

Becc - nope, I wasn't offended at all by what you said as I could tell what you meant by it and I thought it was really kind of you to say that! You're right, things can get a little quiet in the PG after m/c or loss forum, but that's ok - everybody has different and competing needs in their lives right now so it means that not everyone can post all that frequently. It was kind of hard for me in the beginning because I was the first one in there, but as others came on board it was good to be able to share your feelings with others. The other girls are busy with work and other commitments and that's fine - the main thing is that they are feeling comfortable with themselves and their PG (as much as you can be after a loss)! So whilst it would be great if the forum would be more active, it doesn't bother me so much in that I know that if any of the girls need to chat then they will post, and I'm sure that in due course the forum will be busy with some new graduates such as yourself!

I think what you said about your OB could possibly be right (and a big pat on the back to you for giving him the benefit of the doubt in such a terrible situation). Shock can do amazing things to people and it can be too easy for even the best of us to do/say silly things in such situations. Like you I hope that it was shock and him just not being nasty as you say because as you said, he hadn't been callous at all during your PG.

Sarah - oh sweet chops, today sounds like it is a pretty rough day for you. It's awful that you have good days followed by such terribly bad ones which really bring you down and make you feel terrible. Grief is such a horrible thing and I really wish there was a way of being able to bypass the whole thing, but sadly there isn't. As much as it really hurts to have to have these kinds of days, it's much better for you in the long run IYKWIM......if you try to run away from grief it will come and bite you on the bum one day. I know that I too had the feelings that I would never be happy again...that my dreams would never be realised and I was destined for a horrible childless life. It's a horrible feeling that really can't be described accurately in words! It's also easy to assume that if you fell PG quickly previously, that it will happen that way for you again. It did happen like that for us, but I can tell you that before it happened I worried that it would take forever and I didn't think that I could cope with waiting. It's hard when things are so out of your control, particularly if you're like me and feel the need to be in control of things (and I mean everything!). It's like Becc said.....even though in time things get a bit better, it doesn't make you feel any better right now!

Michelle - our OB told us that just because we m/c again the 2nd time, it wasn't anything to do with not having waited for AF necessarily. Glad to hear you're still getting into the naughty foods LOL. Mmmm cream cakes! All of this talk of food is making me huunnngggryyyy LOL. As for the legs in the air, can't say I ever did that LOL.

Oh....and Sarah....your Dad is a financial planner huh? That's what I used to do until I was made redundant last year! I finished my Diploma of Financial Planning last year and just got my licence to advise when I was made redundant....it was the start of a pretty rough trot for me last year! Oh and I'm a total clean freak too.....doesn't help when the nesting instinct fully kicks in and you decide that all the windows in the house MUST be washed IMMEDIATELY LOL.

Oh, and the appt today went well....our little tiger is fine and has actually given me quite a few swift kicks LOL. I'm getting pretty puffy hands/wrists, knees (!!) and ankles/feet too but the OB said it's a good sign actually considering my BP is normal. Phew! What a relief!!! Thanks for letting me have a little vent about it guys as I was on a bit of a stresser!!!

Tootie,

Excellent news about little tiger, bring on more kicks i say. You hardly vented to us at all. You have listed to all the stuff that we say when swinging around certain emotions and still always manage to give great advice with a kind word. You are truly one of a kind.

Financial Planning hey. Good work on getting your diploma. I am not going to be doing that. I decided that i wanted to have kids more IYKWIM. Lol about being a clean freak. As for the legs in the air it sounds like you never had to do that anyway......and i only have my bum on a pillow with my knees bent feet firmly on the bed. A little more lady like (not to mention comfortable). Well i will do whatever it takes even if it was headstands although i was never very good at those LOL. I guess that you can tell that i am feeling a bit lighter now. Still having a crushingly horrible day but at least i can smile now - i couldnt do that this morning. I hear what you say about facing the grief head on and not running from it. Its just so hard when you always seem to feel like this, just at varying degrees but i know that you know that. When you said horrible childless life. That is exactly how i feel right now. I feel like my one chance ended with her death and i will never be blessed with it again. Now that i have said that i will probably get pregnant within the next few months. Heres hoping anyway.

Glad that your anxiety has been eased for the time being.

Chat again soon

Love Sarah

Hey Girls,

Sarah, still thinking of you and hoping you are ok. I know there's not much you can do to shake this feeling when it hits except to ride it out and wait for it to leave. I'm hoping for a more positive weekend for you.

Tootie, happy to hear your appointment went well. Your little tiger will be here in no time now! I'm glad you understood what I meant before too. I certainly wasn't having a go at the girls in the PG after loss forum. All I meant was there seem to be less people in that particular forum than the other 'PG people' ones, making it a bit quieter. And I guess that's the way it should be too - I wouldn't wish our forum on anyone IYKWIM?

Michelle, hope you are feeling a bit better too. It must be tough on you being in a new(ish) country where you don't really know many people. I'm certainly happy to jump on here and have a chat with you when you need to.

Well, that's probably it from me for the day. DH and I are about to head up the coast to visit my mum and stepdad for the weekend. I hope you all have a good weekend. Will chat again soon. :hugs: to all...

Sarah, Just noticed that you posted while I was writing up my last post. Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Hope things pick up a bit more for you over the weekend. Talk to you on Monday.

Becc,

Hope you enjoy your weekend away. Once again you are braver than me. I still dont want to leave the house. It is a very comforting place right now.....

I am also nervous because my OB is going to ring back with some answers to some questions and it is kind of like being on tender hooks wondering if every phone call is from him and then trying to work out a way to have some privacy at work and ask him a few questions that i have thought of in the mean time. As if i havent interrogated him enough.LOL

Well anyway talk to you monday.

Sarah

Kab,
First of all, let me tell you how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your baby girl. My name is Carla, and I'm the other one Tootie mentions in her first post. I just recently (5-23-04) lost my son- I was 21 weeks along. He stayed with us for a little over 2 hours before he passed on. I know how frusterating and depressing everything can be at this time. I don't believe Aunt Flo has showed up yet but it has only been a month Wednesday. Once we get the go ahead from the OB, we will be trying again too...
I'm not sure if this is appropriate to write at this time or not so if I offend anyone, I apoligize. We had our son cremated and I really wanted to do something special with the "cremains". I came across this website that sells urn pendants and they are absolutely beautiful- the woman who sells them is so incredibly sweet too... I don't have the web address on hand but if you do a search on "W.I.T.H." or "Whisper in the Heart" you will find them.
Kab- If you ever need someone to talk with or vent to anytime- don't hesitate to write! It really helps at times like this to talk with people that completely understand what you're going through. This forum is filled with the best women ever!
Take care,
--Carla

Hey Carla,

I've been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you have been getting on. I imagine that you are having a pretty rough time ATM. If you feel up to it, come and post and we'll try and help you through this tough time ok?

Thinking of you....

Hi Carla,
So sorry to hear of the loss of your little Richard. I think what you are doing with your cremains is beautiful- it is so important to remember and honour your loss. Take care and hoping each day gets easier for you.

Hi Becc and Sarah- hope you are doing OK. Sending you cyberhugs.

Meg

Hi All,

Firstly i wanted to say that it is 3 months since Katelyn was born today. :smt022

Secondly, Carla - Thank you for coming to post to me. I am so sorry for your loss. Its heartbreaking isnt it. Can i offer my support back to you. I am sure that without this site i wouldnt be doing as well as i am now (not that i am doing great but you know what i mean) but i just think that it relieves the pressure off both us and our families. I also think that it is beautiful what you have done with your sons remains. We also had Katelyn cremated and have her in a little urn. Its made of copper and fits snuggly into your hand. I hold on to it as much as possible. I hope that you are having an "ok" day today. My heart goes out to you. :hugs:

Thanks for the cyberhugs meg - Straight back at you :hugs:

Forgot something else -

Yesterday the power was off in my street for the entire day (4.30am to 10.30pm) and last night hubby and i went to bed early. We were talking and i said that i would just like a sign from Katelyn so that i know that she is ok and that i will be ok. Then this morning when i went for my walk (i go for an hour everyday) i saw 4 rainbows at different times.......Is this a sign?

Thanks

Love Sarah

Hi Sarah

Hope today will not be to hard for you. I know that it is a sad day for you.
I would take it as a sign maybe you were meant to go to bed early to make another little bub.


Will catch up later.

Hey Michelle,

I just replied to your post under TTC. I hope that you are feeling much better today.

Thanks for that. We tried to make a bub so i just guess we will have to wait and see.

Why do we have to wait so long?

Love Sarah