Coping with pregnant friends after a MC

[kermit4]

AliCat,

So sorry for your loss of your wee one.

I can relate to what you are going through with you friends right now. One of my work colleagues is pregnant right now and her EDD is just 8 days after mine would have been. I see her growing bigger every day and see what I would be like had things been different. It's painful but it's also comforting in a weird way. I had never been pregnant before so watching her helps me visualise my wee boy growing and developing, it makes me feel more connected to him somehow. I know she is so worried about upsetting me but she can't change things for me. It's just nice that she acknowledges the situation.

On the flip side, my closest friend just bravely told me that she is nearly 11 weeks pregnant with her first child. I am trying my best to be thrilled for her but it has stirred up alot of emotions, (some of them a bit ugly, like extreme jealousy!)
When she told me I found myself swapping stories and experiences with her. It was painful but also a bit of a release. My friends and family had all been pretending like it never happened so here was a chance to talk about my little boy and my pregnancy. I had forgotten all the wild emotions my pregnancy brought me, all the joy, excitement, terror of pregnancy it'self. I had been focusing on the grief of a lost child and a lost future. Then I realised that my friend probably did not want to compare her experiences to mine, knowing how my story ended.
So the last week since I found out has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. I am feeling very raw again, just when I was starting to feel like I was moving forward but I guess that you have to take it step by step.

I'm planning on having a heart to heart with my friend soon so I can find a way to support her through her pregnancy but also share her joy and excitement without making her feel uncomfortable.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. I hope you find a way to cope with your friends pregnancies but take it easy on yourself. It's so soon since your wee one left you so you are bound to be feeling so raw right now. Take it slowly, I'm sure they will understand how hard it is for you.

hugs.

[AliCat]

thank you so much for your replies...it helps so much to be able to talk to people who understand.

I guess I just have to find the best way I can deal with their pregnancies. Only time will tell...