I think that yesterday has to go down as one of the worst of my life!
Thinking that i was 11 1/2 weeks along, it was time to have our first u/s, i was nervous as i had this inner feeling that something maybe wrong but i thought no everything will be fine its just my mind thinking the worst.

i layed down ready for the u/s and watched the screen holding dh's hand, i knew without the lady telling me that something was wrong as all i could see was a black hole and no baby, i struggled not to cry but when the lady said that it didn't look good the need to cry became even stronger, she said to go and empty my bladder and she would do any internal one just incase she could not pick it up with the normal ultra sound, by then im in the bathroom sobbing my heart out, and just wanted to go home.
still there was no baby with the internal, i then had to go see my ob, who suggested a d&c which i had done a 7.30 this morning, i fell totally numb and i just can't believe this has happened, im afraid now to try again jsu incase the same thing happens, my ob said that the baby didn't really even form in the first place but the sack kept growing, if i had an u/s earlier i may not have gone through 5 weeks of thinking im pregnant when i really wasn't.

i need to vent my feelings as this really is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with, so thankyou for listening.