Ectopic Pregnancy

[Trillian]

The medication is Methotrexate and it is an immuno-suppressant drug. The risk with methotrexate is that it may not work quick enough to stop the pregnancy growing before damage is done to the tube. You can't conceive for at least 3 months after having it as it is a class A drug tha WILL cause birth defects.

[chepie]

Oh Hun i am sorry this is happening to you... my first pregnancy was an ectopic but mine ruptured and I lost my right tube..... it was really scary but I won't go into details.... Yes there is slight chance of it happening again but there is huge change of it not..... when you are ovulating you tube can move across to the other side and collect the egg!! our bodies are amazing..... as you can see I have gone on to have babies .....

I am sorry for the way you have treated also, it sounds awful..........

But please know that we are all here for you.... PM me if you want to chat about it .......sending you lots of love and strength

[foreva*your*mummy]

I really hope you are doing ok and Im so so so sorry you are going through this and alone. I would definatly not be able to cope either. Your feelings are very normal. It is way to much information to have to take in and deal with.
I hope you DH got to you as soon as he could.
Thoughts are with you xxxxxx

[surprised]

Thinking of you tonight hun. Hope DH gets there really soon and hope he can be with you this weekend. Xoxo

[Three Graces]

I've also been thinking of you all day today. I didn't post earlier, as I haven't experienced what you're going through, I just know that one of the mums in my mothers group had an ectopic pregnancy and went on to have another healthy baby.

I'm so sorry to read how you've been treated and that your prescious baby couldn't stay with you. I would be inconsolable if it were happening to me. Sending you lots of love and strength.

[Mildez]

How are you going? I've been thinking of you xx

[LadyRose]

How are you going? I've been thinking of you xx

Thank you...

I woke up on the other side of the op with my tubes (there was no ectopic pregnancy but they performed a D&C to remove "tissue" that had formed but not grown). Somethings happened within me though and I just don't feel I care about anything. They might as well have taken my tubes with the baby, for all they mean to me now. I feel like a different person, like I went to sleep and someone else woke up instead of me, the colour has seeped out of my life, I can't eat, I can't sleep... I can't be bothered going to pilates or doing anything else i "enjoy". I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to TTC. I DON'T CARE. I feel empty, I feel raw, I feel violated. I'm angry. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has "advice". What would help is some flowers, I don't want to hear anymore words, just want something to feel and hold... Nothing fills the void though, nothing. So I guess I'm miserable. I don't know if I'm going through the stages of grief loss, I've experienced loss in other ways, not this, and I don't remember being so angry. I hope something happens to bring myself back because I just feel worse each day.

[myturn]

oh Lady..... I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to give you the biggest ever.... try to look after yourself xoxo

[Joeve]

Oh hugs babe. Take some time for you to feel how you want to feel. I wish I could make it better for you x

[surprised]

Hugs hun. At the risk of giving you more unwanted advice, please seek help from someone you trust, like your GP. You don't have to go through this alone. Xo

[chepie]

Sweetie I totally understand how you feel....... I was so empty, lost, angry, didn't care ... I remember standing in shower and screaming at the world, howling uncontrollably because the emotional pain I felt inside felt so unbearable ..... Yes you will feel like this for a while, but you take all the time you need to grieve the loss of your little one - I know you don't want to hear this but it slowly gets better, never forgotten but some how a little less painful.....

Today is 6 years ago that my tube ruptured and we lost our first angel and nearly my life, and boy did I cry in the shower tonight.... It hurts very much today....

Here if you need anything oxox

[maybebaby2012]

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you, I started to lose our precious baby this week and many of your feelings & thoughts mirror my own right now. There is an emptiness that I can't shake and hovers over me during every waking moment. I have faith that this too shall pass, because it must. Wishing you some peace and letting you know that I have an empty inbox of you ever wanted to chat xx

[LadyRose]

Thank you, just hearing sorry is enough, somehow nothing else helps but knowing people identify. I feel like i should be grateful i kept my tubes, and I probably am somewhere inside. But I don't feel it right now, I feel guilty that I have them when others haven't and I don't appreciate the miracle that was. I don't understand it, apparently the dr spoke to me after the surgery but i have no recollection, the "tissue" wasn't in the tube and has been sent off for testing, and I'll see that dr next week and find out what happened. I don't really care at this point though iykwim, its gone and thats all that matters. I'm so angry, so very angry, my gp's suggestion of 'exercising' and doing things i enjoy made me livid. I was thinking, exercising, are you kidding me? She even told me I could start TTC right away, as in this cycle as I'm no lonnger bleeding (this is contrary to what the hospital nurse said). You think i'd be happy but i don't want to ttc, in fact I started the pill this morning which I haven't been on for 7 years. I don't really need contraception because i went for so long without contraception when we werent even ttc due to the pcos, i didn't have AF for months on end, then some and still didn't get pregnant. But i feel like going on the pill is the only thing i can do to control things, it's like me saying i WONT allow myself to get pregnant, so no one can take it away from me again. I don't know... what else to do.

maybebaby; I'm sorry for you too, it's not far, and i wish i had the words to say but i can't even find them for myself. I am always willing to listen though, i've found myself i just want to talk and someone to want to hear me.

p.s. I still can't figure out how to message someone or leave feedback?

[surprised]

Hun there is no right or wrong way to feel - you feel how you feel. I'm so sorry your gp wasn't helpful. Hang in there - you will get through this.

You might not have enough posts to message yet?

[Three Graces]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

So often, family/friends/GP's etc want to rush you through the grieving and try to get you to "look on the bright side"/positives, but we all need to grieve first, before being able to move on. Any sentence that starts with the words: 'at least'.... just automatically negates what you've just lost. So, yes, the tubes are still intact, however, you've just lost your baby and you need to be given space to grieve this loss.
Our society doesn't do negative emotions well and labels them as 'good' or 'bad', such as anger = bad. Most people don't feel comfortable sitting with -'ve emotions or seeing somebody else experiencing them, hence the rush to look at the positives. Which makes is just so hard to express what we're really feeling.

There's nothing that I can say to finish off this reply that will magically help you at the moment.
Re: how to pm others - you can click on their user name and it will have a drop down list with the option to send a private message.

[Three Graces]

sorry - just wanted to clarify my comment :any sentence that starts with the words 'at least' -I meant that these are usually comments made by well meaning people, as in 'at least your tubes are still intact'.... which is meant to make you feel better (but usually makes you feel worse!)

[GiggleMonkey]

Oh hun, I am so sorry for what you have been through I wish I had been on here earlier. I have been "off the air" for a bit over a month because I have been going through a pretty similar thing. We had just come back from a holiday when I got what I thought was my period. It was a little lighter than usual and I continued getting light bleeding/spotting. After two weeks I decided to see my GP. Thursday afternoon I saw GP, faint +ve, blood test confirmed 4-5 weeks, ultrasound Friday morning revealed I had one gestational sac inutereo and one gestational sac in my right tube. That afternoon I had an injection of methotrexate, the following week followup blood tests and another round of methotrexate injections as the first ones hadn't worked. The following week more followup blood tests and unfortunately our stubborn little angel was hanging on for dear life and I ended up having surgery and had my right tube removed on 10 August. I was in and out of hospital and having tests done for a total of 3 weeks and was completely over it all.


The thing that is frustrating me the most is the "at least" sentences (I completely agree with you Three Graces). After years of TTC and finally having DS through IVF and then nothing again until now, everyone keeps saying to us "at least you know you can conceive naturally". Well, you know what, I doesn't show that to me AT ALL!!! I feel like telling these people all it means is that we shouldn't conceive naturally as it only ends up in pain and surgery!!!! I too will be starting on the pill once my next cycle starts as DH & I have decided to leave our TTC to IVF.

My apologies, I don't mean to hijack your thread with my own story, I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand where you are coming from and going through. I too am finding it hard to get back into the swing of things. I have been "putting on a brave face" simply because I don't know how to react. I am seeing a psychologist for other reasons and she said that it will take time, we all grieve differently and there is no right or wrong way to deal with the emotions that are surging through your body. Feel free to PM me if you would like to chat.

Sending more your way and my apologies for not seeing this thread earlier. xo

[LadyRose]

I just wanted to come back and let you know I'm alright! If it only serves as hope for someone else... it shows that *it* does get easier. I'm not sure why I was so angry, but I'm not anymore. I accept what happened. Its still upsetting and distressing if i linger too long on it, but i don't get lost in that thought cycle of "why" anymore. The triggers seem to be seeing babies and baby related things, but i think i'll feel that way for a long time.

The dr who did my surgery advised me to wait 3 months before TTC but my GP said i could TTC straight away. I did my own research and can see both sides of the coin. While i know it would be logistically better to wait a cycle, so I at least have an LMP to go from, we are not avoiding pregnancy. I believe if it will happen when and as it is meant to. Just like my m/c was, after the initial grief i saw how it was a catalyst for something in my life. I feel better now going forward with TTC, I feel stronger. It's something i survived and continue to do so, as do we all.


I don't seem to have the private message function, as I wanted to msg a couple who shared your stories with me, and who I know have been through this recently also. I'd love to know how you're going??