Thank you, just hearing sorry is enough, somehow nothing else helps but knowing people identify. I feel like i should be grateful i kept my tubes, and I probably am somewhere inside. But I don't feel it right now, I feel guilty that I have them when others haven't and I don't appreciate the miracle that was. I don't understand it, apparently the dr spoke to me after the surgery but i have no recollection, the "tissue" wasn't in the tube and has been sent off for testing, and I'll see that dr next week and find out what happened. I don't really care at this point though iykwim, its gone and thats all that matters. I'm so angry, so very angry, my gp's suggestion of 'exercising' and doing things i enjoy made me livid. I was thinking, exercising, are you kidding me? She even told me I could start TTC right away, as in this cycle as I'm no lonnger bleeding (this is contrary to what the hospital nurse said). You think i'd be happy but i don't want to ttc, in fact I started the pill this morning which I haven't been on for 7 years. I don't really need contraception because i went for so long without contraception when we werent even ttc due to the pcos, i didn't have AF for months on end, then some and still didn't get pregnant. But i feel like going on the pill is the only thing i can do to control things, it's like me saying i WONT allow myself to get pregnant, so no one can take it away from me again. I don't know... what else to do.

maybebaby; I'm sorry for you too, it's not far, and i wish i had the words to say but i can't even find them for myself. I am always willing to listen though, i've found myself i just want to talk and someone to want to hear me.

p.s. I still can't figure out how to message someone or leave feedback?