Hi Tanya,

I feel the same way about a few people i know who are pregnant, except i am avoiding them because it makes me cringe seeing them pregnant, and when i found out they were pregnant it was still early days for them, i lost my son at 20.1wks, and i dont want to watch them get past that gestation because i dont want to know about it, and be reminded of what i could have had,

It makes me wonder why dont i deserve a successful pregnancy too? what did i do? because my pregnancy was going fine and losing him happened out of no where, and these 2 people i know who are pregnant, are not really close friends, but i do know them well, and they smoke & drink often and are just clueless about everything, and i wonder what makes them better suited mothers, why do they get this right now, when i dont, and the innocence of pregnancy isnt ruined for them, so they can enjoy their pregnancy without worry, while now if i ever fall pregnant again, im going to be paranoid.

I understand how you feel, its normal, i dont want to feel this way about them, but i cant help it, if i was still pregnant and didnt lose my son, i would be celebrating with them and helping them out, but i just cant do it and i dont want to know about their pregnancies, and i dont think theres anything wrong with that, i need to care about my emotions and i dont want them getting out of control, i hope you can control your feelings too, because its hard feeling this way.