Friends Keep Mentioning Miscarriage

[Gabi]

Some friends of mine are pregnant for the first time, and every single time I talk to them (one on one or at BBQs etc.) they mention fear of miscarriage. Usually saying something like "it's so scary, we know some people who've had a miscarriage". I know that the first trimester can be a bit scary for everyone, and perhaps especially in a first pregnancy, I'm sure miscarriage crosses all of our minds! I try to be undertanding, but every time they bring it up it makes me feel awful. You see, I had two miscarriages before I had my kids and this friendship group were particulary unsupportive, the husband of this couple even made some stupid comments during my third hellish pregnancy. The babies I lost are never mentioned meanwhile everyone is feeling sorry for this couple, and I feel like my miscarriages are the elephant in the room.

I guess my question is: Should I mention my babies? my experience? Or ask them not to talk to me about it? After the conversations I always feel so blue and miss my babies so much and think about what could have been and feel further invalidated by a group of people who made my recovery a few years ago so difficult.

ETA - Alll I do atm is try to listen and be there for them. Obviously their feelings are valid! They aren't doing anything wrong. I just want to know how to protect myself too...