Thank you so much for your replys ladies, i too am so sorry for your losses
Reading your responses gave me such a huge feeling of releif. I know i got a thank you from my brother (but he's not too good at expressing his feelings) and i was worrying that he said thank you just so as not to hurt my feelings.
I truely do feel i am doing an honorable thing for my nephew and reading your comments confirms how i feel.
I have added the foundations you have mentioned to my list of donations that i will make.
BAL i have read a book written by members of the group SANDS. I read it in the hope of being able to understand a small bit what my brother and sil may be going through. If that is even possible...
Firstly, im so sorry for the loss of your nephew I know how hard it is not to see there smiling face or hear there laughter anymore.
Your donations are a GREAT idea!!! Honestly it really is a beautiful thing you are doing. I would be truely honured if any of my family did this for me. My charity close to my heart is SIDS Its affected my family twice now, once with my sister 21yrs ago yesterday and now my own daughter.
Im not sure, but i know with myself since losing Lilli, most days im a closed book and i express my feelings a little, but not alot. Maybe your SIL is the same?? And also being such an emtional gift, she may not want to cry in front of, iykwim. I hate crying in front of ppl, makes me feel so weak. May i ask, how long has it been since your nephew grew his wings??
I think your idea is wonderful and very thoughtful, so sorry for the loss of your nephew!
We lost my brother to SIDS when i was 4, every year we have always purchased red noses etc and i also give to the Royal Childrens Good Friday Appeal as this is where he went.
My mum has always said one of the best gifts any of us can give is the hope that we can help find a way to stop this from happening so no-one has to go what we went through.
Our donations in his memory (no matter how big or small) are assisting in this.
I think the card they send is great, is there one particular charity that relates to what happened with your nephew? If so maybe you can donate to them each year?
Rach so so sorry to hear of your devistating loss, both a sister and a child. I had a look at your group page for Lilli and she is beautiful!! You have some amazing photos that capture your little girls smiles and cheeky looks, it is an honour for me to be able to see these photos I know SIDS is also very close to my sil's heart
My nephew passed away 12 months ago (October 08). He was born prematurely (at approx 28 weeks) due to his mum having complications with pre-eclampsia. The quality of his lungs were a constant battle for him & with having to work so hard he was susceptible to bugs. At the time of his passing he seemed to be suffering from a gastro, was severly dehydtated and i don't think his little body could fight anymore. Absolutely devistating... for all involved.
Avasmum#1 i'm so sorry to hear you lost a brother. SIDS has definately benefitted from donations received, even though it can still happen they are aware of some causes and i'm pretty sure incidents have decreased.
Since my original post my brother and sil have welcomed a new little girl!! She was born on Sunday at 29+6. Her mum had the same complications again if not more severe this time on her part. Both are now doing extremely well, babe is responding so well and it looks as though she may travel a different path to her big brother even though they have had similar beginnings. Avasmum to answer your question on a condition that is closely related to my nephew & now my neice, i'd now definately say pre-eclampsia. When i was infomred that my sil was in hospital again i googled pre-eclampsia to see what i could find out about the condition and i have found a great website that takes donations so i'm thinking of changing my initial idea and will donate to this cause each Birthday and Christmas. Plus i always donate to the Royal Childrens Hospital
Thanks so much for your imput it's greatly appreciated
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Its affected my family twice now, once with my sister 21yrs ago yesterday and now my own daughter. 
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