Honestly, I don't know as there is any "right way" to get through this time. As you know, no one knew about my 2nd m/c either as they didn't know I was PG. Just because you've had 1 m/c doesn't make it any easier either - all the feelings of loss you had from your first loss come flooding back and if anything, you feel even more cursed than ever before IYKWIM? It's such a cruel thing and I don't know as there are any specific details I can give you on how to keep going - the only thing I can be sure of is that you will keep going, as hard as it is, and every day will feel like forever for a while.
What worked for me may not work for you either and you really need to try and do whatever makes you feel comfortable right now. I simply had to remove myself from the general public for a while as I couldn't cope with it all. In terms of any commitments that you may have, I found it best to just say that I was unable to go due to illness and left it at that. It feels for a while like you have it stamped on your forehead what has happened, and people know something is wrong, but they don't know what, and are bound to ask, and I knew I couldn't cope with re-living it over and over again, so saying I was unwell helped me. It's not a long term solution and I really had to force myself to start getting outdoors again, but by that time I felt like I was a bit more emotionally ready to handle that and going for a short walk somewhere on a regular basis really helped just to clear my head IYKWIM. So perhaps whilst you are in such an acute phase of grief and loss right now, you could just stay home for a week or two....after that you may feel much better about going out and about and interacting. It won't be easy, but it will be easier than if you try to force yourself to do it now. I don't know as that really helps you at all.....it's just what worked for me. The most important thing is not to force yourself into situations in which you feel uncomfortable now as it will only compound your feelings even more.
I don't think I have any other real words of advice to offer on how I personally got through my 2 m/c. All I can say is that it was difficult and a time in my life that I can never forget and I never hope to ever go through that again. As awful as every day seems, and as hard as it is to get out of bed and to do anything at all, you will get by....somehow. How that is depends on you, but you WILL get through, and you will get through with my whole-hearted support.
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