Littleangels - I am so sorry for your losses. Its is very hard when you go into labour spontaneously and I am sure you have blamed yourself and your body over and over. I know I have.

I was 20w+5d when I started having contractions (though I didn't know they were contractions) I was dialated 2cm with bulging membranes when I actually was admitted in hospital at 21w+1d .

Nikita's due date 12 Sept was difficult, but I found Christmas almost unbearable as it felt like people forgot that we were meant to be celebrating our first christmas as a family. My mother even popped her outdoor table furniture in front of the memorial plaque and garden she had for Nikita for my family christmas lunch - she had no clue just what a kick in the guts that was

The pregnancy road is difficult and can seem daunting and too scary to travel after losing babies but try to look at it in this respect - you have first hand experience in all the things that can go wrong therefore you will know that any little twitch you will get checked out straight away. The Drs will pay you a little more attention and you may even be put into specialised care and get weekly scans - just think how wonderful that will be to see your baby every single week as it developes.

I am not sure of all your circumstances - but I think if your DH is not quite ready - even if you are then it may be better to wait until he is truely 100% ready. You are going to need to support each other and it will be difficult especially as you near the same stage.

My DH was so concerned about how I would feel going into our last pregnancy and whether or not it would have been too soon. Even after this recent loss (8 months after losing Nikita) he primary concern is whether I am ready - this recent loss has confirmed for him that I am given how I have reacted etc. But if there was doubt in HIS mind about whether he felt ready or if he felt I was not ready then we would rather wait because we know it will be a hard road to travel.

If your DH is doing this just for you and not because he is ready to I worry that it may add extra stress for him - but thats just me and I am certainly no expert.

Best of luck for your journey, hopefully we will be in the same due date group

Nae x x x