Littleangels - I am so sorry for your losses. Its is very hard when you go into labour spontaneously and I am sure you have blamed yourself and your body over and over. I know I have.
I was 20w+5d when I started having contractions (though I didn't know they were contractions) I was dialated 2cm with bulging membranes when I actually was admitted in hospital at 21w+1d .
Nikita's due date 12 Sept was difficult, but I found Christmas almost unbearable as it felt like people forgot that we were meant to be celebrating our first christmas as a family. My mother even popped her outdoor table furniture in front of the memorial plaque and garden she had for Nikita for my family christmas lunch - she had no clue just what a kick in the guts that was
The pregnancy road is difficult and can seem daunting and too scary to travel after losing babies but try to look at it in this respect - you have first hand experience in all the things that can go wrong therefore you will know that any little twitch you will get checked out straight away. The Drs will pay you a little more attention and you may even be put into specialised care and get weekly scans - just think how wonderful that will be to see your baby every single week as it developes.
I am not sure of all your circumstances - but I think if your DH is not quite ready - even if you are then it may be better to wait until he is truely 100% ready. You are going to need to support each other and it will be difficult especially as you near the same stage.
My DH was so concerned about how I would feel going into our last pregnancy and whether or not it would have been too soon. Even after this recent loss (8 months after losing Nikita) he primary concern is whether I am ready - this recent loss has confirmed for him that I am given how I have reacted etc. But if there was doubt in HIS mind about whether he felt ready or if he felt I was not ready then we would rather wait because we know it will be a hard road to travel.
If your DH is doing this just for you and not because he is ready to I worry that it may add extra stress for him - but thats just me and I am certainly no expert.
Best of luck for your journey, hopefully we will be in the same due date group
Littleangels, I wonder the same thing as well about what people will say once we are pg again. I'm prepared for alot of people to assume that I'll be "all better", when the next pg is going to be tough emotion wise.
I'm in two mind frames about when to tell people though, on one side I would like to wait to pass 18 weeks as this is when I lost Jayvan, and to pass that time would make me feel "safe".
But then I feel we waited until I was 12 weeks before telling everyone assuming it was safe to, and it wasn't. This makes me feel like I should just shout my next pregnancy from the roof tops at 4 weeks and enjoy each moment with everyone I love because it doesn't make a damn difference!
I have to laugh sometimes as my mum is superstious like this, and would refuse to by me anything until after 12 weeks, and she had a still born bub at 40 weeks and went on to lose another at 16 weeks. I just don't think there is a safe period in pregnancy anymore, and unfortunately people like us have had to learn the hard way.
I conceived in August 08 but lost the baby at 4 weeks, 5 days, I just had a feeling something was wrong, I went to my GP who said I had to wait 3 months before TTC again, if I conceive within that 3 months I`d be at higher risk of having a NT baby, I`d never heard of this before, I was in tears because I needed to TTC sooner then the 3 months as it had already taken us longer to fall pregnant then my previous 2 pregnancies after googling about this risk and posting here on BB I decided to go with my instinct and TTC (DH was also all for it) so that`s what we did, but we were seriously TC that month plus I came down with a severe stomach bug at O time so didn`t think I was in with a chance but I conceived that month and I`m now 21.5 weeks pregnant with a little boy
Good luck hun, do what you feel is the right thing to do
Hi Everyone...
Well.... Today I feel a little bit stronger!
The weekend was plain horrible and between periods of crying and then just being plain emotionless I somehow managed to laugh for the first time. I nknew then that i could laugh again and that I would be able to get through this.
Last Monday ( the day our baby died) I was so stressed out at work. It was probably the most horrible day i had had at work ever. I don't know if this was the reason but stress can do things you never imagine. I am trying not to think why know but to just be thankful for those 3months I had with our baby.
I happened to stumbel across my clomid scipt whic started all of this. I had thought i threw it out( I don't 'O' very wells on my own maybe twice a year if I'm lucky!!). DH and I actually conceived our last baby on our own drug free. We were very proud of ourselves!!
I also came to the conlucsion that I do know I wnat another go at trying. I am not going to wiat till 16 weeks like we planned with our last baby but shout it from the roof and just plain enjoy it!!!!!!!!
I started taking my Blackmores conception vitamins yesterday, So now its just about trying to get my and DH healthy again and then try. ( not straight away but in a few months anyhow). There is oone thing playing on my mind and that is DH said that we would have one more go and if we are unfortunate that we not continue to try anymore...... He is completely shattered.
EM
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