I know I am going to be ok

[Tanya]

Well I thought I had better post in here so everyone knows what is going on.

I posted in my pg update yesterday

I decided to go the the emergency Dept after leaking a bit of fluid and then having some brown/pink blood. I was quite a bit upset, and I wasn't holding out much hope. I waited for 2.5hrs and finally got called in. The Dr took some blood and I waited to go for a scan. About half an hour later I was wheeled around to the u/s dept and had a scan. My bladder was very full so at first the scan was through thte abdomen. We could see the yolk sac, but not much else. The sonographer let me empty my bladder and we did an internal. Still not much. No heartbeat and the gestational sac measuring 6w4d. I decided to walk back to the ED and waited for an hour for the dr to see me again. He told me they want me to have another u/s in a week. They can't rule out ectopic. I waited for another 20mins for someone to pull my bung out and eventually I was home by about 5pm (I got there at about 10:40am).
So, I think I am going to m/c very soon, I knew there was something not all together right about this pregnancy, now my fears have been realized.

Today I got up and I was still having black bleeding. I got on the computer and thought I had better go to the toilet and I think I have just passed the sac. So it is done. And I am really sad! I was 8w2d.
I know I am going to be ok, but at the moment I can't stop crying. Why couldn't this happen when I was pregnant and 14yo! Why didn't it happen when I was midway through my studies and contemplating termination. Why does it happen when I planned to have another baby. Don't get me wrong I love my girls and I am happy I didn't have to go through m/c then... I don't know what i am trying to say.
I feel like maybe someone somewhere is trying to tell me not to have a forth. Not sure what we are going to do, I suppose it's one hurdle at a time, huh?

Tanya

[*TamaraP*]

Oh Tanya sweety I am sooooo sorry (((((((hugs)))))))

[visitor2]

Tanya i am so sorry to hear of your loss

[Visitor9]

Oh Tanya,
I can't believe it, don't try to be too brave have a cry or a rage. No one should have to go through this. We are all here for you :hugs:
Bec

[Trillian]

Tanya sweetie, i am so so sorry to read this. Although I can only imagine what you are going through, I do understand what you were trying to say. Please don't apologise for your feelings. Right now I just want to come down there and give you a great big hug.

[Tigergirl1980]

Again Tanya, I am so, so sorry that you have lost your baby. Don't worry about what you're trying to say, we all know what you mean sweetie. Lean on us, we are all here for you. Lots of big to you and *mwah* kisses too.

[Melody]

I'm sorry Tanya.... life is full of funny little twists & turns...... some not so funny. Some are just really hard to understand.

Chin up & hugs to you.

[Danni]

Oh Tanya-- what s shock.

Life is not meant to be understood and neither are the obstacles that get put ahead of us.

You may never have these answers but I hope you find it in your heart to continue on and be the best mother that you deserve to be


My love is with you, Wato and the girls

[Pietta]

Tanya I am so sorry to hear your news. Life throws us challenges and sometimes they really dont make any sense do they.

Please know that you have so much support on here.

[Astrolady]

Aww tanya I am so sorry to hear about your loss :hugs:

Love

[Debbie Lee]

Oh Jesus.... I am sooooooo sorry matey... I don't know what to say. My thoughts are with you and your beautiful family at this time..... I am just so upset and hurt and angry for you... what a completely sucky thing to happen :(

[{sarah}]

Awww Tan :hugs:

You poor chook Just think if this had happened when you were 14, you would not be the woman you are today & you would not have the gorgeous girl you have now. But I do understand what you're saying.

[Antheia]

Tanya, i'm so sorry hun. I just don't know what to say right now, but know you're in my thoughts

[nadia]

Oh hon, I'm so very sorry, I know your pain all to well.

My thoughts are with you sweety

[~Jo~]

So very sorry Tanya

Jo

[lissd]

I'm so sorry for your loss Tanya. No woman should ever have to go through this.

Thinking of you and your family.

Liss.

[Melinda]

Oh Tanya, I am so very very sorry to hear about your loss.
All my love and thoughts are with you and your family. Take care of yourself won't you.

[Trish]

Tanya, again I am soooo very sorry for you hun. I guess sometimes bad things happen to good people. Not that it makes it any easier to handle I know. If you need anything be sure to yell out. Even it's to scream, cry, swear at. Hey, I'm a big girl I can handle it

Love to you and your family at this sad time.


Take care
Trish