My DH was the same when i had a missed m/c, we even had a preg test with a visable line, and celebrated a pregnancy til i started bleeding at 12 weeks. When i had an ultrasound it showed that the baby had stopped growing at approx 5 weeks and the Dr explained that it probably didnt get past the point where the cells divide... DH hears this so in his mind our m/c was never a baby. I had a D&C and to me o course i felt like i had lost a baby. It ended up being a huge turning point in our relationship because i allowed myself to be convinced that it meant nothing to loose this baby that "never was". It took DH and I months to get back on the same page and after counciling, DH admitted that it was his way of trying to make the pain easier for me. We had already lost a baby at 18 weeks and he thought if he could convince me that this m/c WASNT a baby it would be less painful for me. But as you know- whenever you loose a baby it hurts, and you need to acknowledge that loss and feel the pain together or else it will always be something that will come between you.
Sorry, now i am rambling... I wish you the best of luck trying again and i hope you get your BFP soon!! And good luck with the move- remember you can still try now- you will have 8-9 months to get your stuff together when you do get pregnant!!
StarBright made some really important points. It is hard to move on and grow in a relationship if one person doesn't recognise an event that the other partner finds particularly significant. Even if your partner doesn't feel like there was a baby, it is important that he understands that you feel you have lost a baby.
Men also deal with things in a different way, and he may be thinking he is helping you by not acknowledging the loss, so then you can 'get over it' because he can't do anything to 'fix' the loss of your baby. If you need the acknowledgement (and i would) do you think it would help to show him this thread, especially your post and StarBright's post.
It might help you guys to talk about it, and although he might not feel the same way about it that you do, he might be able to gain some understanding of how you feel about it and help you both grow as a couple.
Big Hugs, I am sorry for your loss.
SB xo
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