I have the twins in mine because when I mentioned them in some posts etc, people would question what I was talking about. It just means I don't have to preface any post I make in the MAL forums with "I once was pregnant with twins but lost them etc etc".

They don't define me, they do effect me sometimes and that loss has shaped how I view pregnancy, miscarriage, loss and my daughters now, but how they have done that is not something I can, nor will, explain to anyone really, that is mine alone.