just need to vent

**sirenz** · October 15th, 2010, 08:00 AM

so tomorrow would have been my EDD with our baby which I lost in March

I feel numb atm, just really numb especially as I start to read all the BA from the ladies in my belly buddies group and while i'm so, so happy for all of them, I can't help to think it should of been me

I really thought I would be ok, but its getting harder for me to cope for some reason. We are TTC again, but a part of me is so very terrified of going thru that again for a 3rd time (the mc). I think its harder this time for me because of the way I mc at home and what I went thru (can't get into too many details as it makes me cry when I write it and ds is sitting here next to me).

Just not sure if what i'm feeling is normal, I have been irritable, cranky, tired, emotional, just can't get motivated to do anything. We are completing settlement of our new home on 25th this month, I know I should be really excited, but i feel like i just don't have the energy to be excited. What's the point? All I want to do is crawl into bed for the next 2 weeks and sleep.

My poor ds has been copping from me too, i have been so cranky at him for no good reason at all and that makes me feel like sh*t! I hate being like this

How long can I expect to feel like this? it wasn't like this with the 1st mc I had, sure I was upset, but not really grieving like this time.

Anyway, no need to reply. Just needed to get it out a little so i dont burst into tears infront of ds.

thanks for reading

**MummaSue** · October 15th, 2010, 08:02 AM

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**Mum2Romone** · October 15th, 2010, 08:05 AM

I'm sure the wAY your feeling is normal and I'm sure I too will feel that way next march,

Maybe you need a little time to yourself just to grieve,

**delphmoon** · October 15th, 2010, 08:20 AM

I understand how you feel...its hard to see beyond the pain..
I spose all you can do is take it day by day

I bought a plant and a statue for my EDD in feb this year...it gave me something to focus on...maybe try something like this?

thinking of you

**Mum2Romone** · October 15th, 2010, 10:19 AM

What a sweet idea delphmoon.

**delphmoon** · October 15th, 2010, 02:48 PM

yes. it certainly has helped. My dh chose the pot, I chose the plant and we both picked the statue. We call it our 'Leigham plant'.

**Tegam** · October 16th, 2010, 08:59 PM

We are completing settlement of our new home on 25th this month, I know I should be really excited, but i feel like i just don't have the energy to be excited. What's the point? All I want to do is crawl into bed for the next 2 weeks and sleep.

DH and i were booked in to have a look at a home (our dream home) the day i discovered i was having an ectopic...

While i was in hospital my parents went and had a look for something to do.

When i got out DH took a look and 2 days post Op they all wanted me to look.

So i went, yer har its a house, whatever......

Brought the house, i didnt care. Packing kept me distracted and the move happened just 5 weeks after surgery.

I like the house but boy its taken some time to get use to the idea that all that happened at a time i was so very very lost!

Dont be too hard on yourself for what you think you should be feeling!

So sorry for your loss!!