Well as the title says I am currently in limbo- it appears as though i dont have a viable pg yet I am yet to have a mc. If you can bear with me I feel the need to get the whole story out (more for my own sake than anyone elses iykwim) so be warned it could be a long one.

The background
My DH and I had been TTC for 2 years prior to this pg. The first year I was a bit blase about it all and assumed it would happen fairly quickly which of course it didnt. When the second year rolled around (by this time I was obsessed with TTC) I knew it was time to stop living in denial and go and see a FS. I had my first appointment with the FS in late May and we booked a lap in for July. I was finally starting to feel a bit more positive about it as we were taking action to get that elusive BFP.

The day after the FS appointment DH and I went on a week's holiday to Victoria and due to getting stuck in a flood I couldnt carry out my normal POAS addiction. I had tested at 10 DPO which was a BFN so I didnt think there was any hope anyway. When AF didnt arrive though the 3 day wait to get home and test was bad and by the time I walked in the door I was confident I was going to get my BFP which I did.

Cue happy emotions we had done it! The relief we both felt was overwhelming. I know its stupid but in those first few days of getting the BFP I had already planned the early life of my unborn child. DH got super excited and started telling everyone in his family. This is when the first doubts crept in- I couldnt get rid of the nagging voice in the back of my head that said dont tell people as it will make it harder if you mc. I decided I the only people I would tell prior to 12 wks was my work team. There is only 6 of us in my department and we are really close so the absence of me at Friday night drinks would have been a dead give away and I was already experiencing nausea etc so I couldnt see the point in lying to them.

The Story

Skip forward to when I should have been 6+4 by my LMP and I went to the toilet to discover I was spotting brown blood. Of course I freaked out and got in to to see an OB ( i had my first appointment booked for the following week) He wasnt overly concerned. It was brown and small in amounts and could be perfectly normal but he referred me for a scan to make sure everything was ok.

I had the scan the following afternoon and thats where the real problems started. The gestational sac was measuring at 5+4 (they did say 5+6 at the time but changed it in the report) and they could only see a yolk sac. I was told it is too early and to come back in a week's time for another look. As my cycles were longer than 28 days with the help of the girls from my BB group I figured that if you just add 2 weeks to my O date I would have been 6+1. As they had told me 5+6 I wasnt too concerned as it was only a couple of days out. The absence of a fetal pole was worrying so of course I turned to Dr Google and saw lots of stories that went either way. At first I was convinced it was over but as the week went on I started to feel more confident although deep down I knew this wasnt going to end well. The brown spotting had not stopped but had not gotten any worse.

This Wed just gone I went back to my Ob who started talking about what I could do to conceive quickly again. He didnt come straight out and say it was bad but when you talk in terms of TTC again its obvious what he was thinking.

Yesterday I had my follow up scan and there is still no fetal pole. The gestational sac has grown and is now 14mm and the yolk sac was still present but that is it. The sonographer told me that by now (7+1) they should be able to see something and sometimes an egg just doesnt develop properly. The irony of it all is the spotting is not coming from the ges sac and they told me it was nicely implanted and had no signs of coming away from the wall so the spotting is coming from somewhere else most likely my cervix.

So now I have to have 2 blood tests 48hrs apart to test the HCG (they hadnt done a blood test prior to this) and go back for a follow up scan next Friday before they make a diagnosis.

I dont really know where I stand now I dont feel like I can say i'm pregnant if there is no embryo yet I havent had a mc so where do I fit in? My Ob wont see me again till after the 3rd scan so I dont even have a proper diagnosis. I know though within my self that this is not going to progress. My symptoms are slowly easing off and well I just know.

After a big cry yesterday today I just feel angry. This is a cruel trick... I waited for this for 2 years only for it to not go anywhere. I dont even feel like I can complain as I havent even lost a baby there is nothing but a ges sac and yolk sac to loose. And if one more member of DH's family says to me "at least you know you can get pg now" I think I will snap.

I suppose the biggest question I have to anyone reading (if you managed to get this far) is this classed as a blighted ovum or a missed miscarriage? Some sites say blighted ovum but others say if you have a yolk sac present then it is not a blighted ovum???

Any advice/support you can give to get me through this next week would be much appreciated.