hi everyone

once again a big thank you to the bb community.

i have had one long and exhausting day today at the hospital. my fears where confirmed our baby has left us, in fact i believe it was around midnight last night and sorry this is way tmi however i had some severe cramping around that time and went to the toilet where i passed two very large clots with tissue, i said bye bye to my baby. ultrasound and blood tests have confirmed that i have miscarried our angel baby, however it looks like at this stage that a d&c will not be required.

my dh and i are going to commence grief (over the loss of our dd jess), relationship and alcohol counselling (for him obviously). basically i said to my dh if he didn't agree to any counselling then unfortunately i will consider leaving as i cannot live like this anymore, to my utter surprise he broke down in tears and said he wants to get help and he wants to more importantly do something about his drinkiing, currently he drinks around 8 cans a night (more on weekends) and he has said he would ideally love to only have a couple of cans 3 times a week.

i guess we will see what happens in the future but it is now time to continue down this path and to get the help which we obviously so desperatly need.

i will be taking a break from bb for a little while, i am sure you all understand how hard it can be especially in my state of mind, i wish all of you out there the very best in the upcoming births of your babies and also on your ttc journey's.

thank you once again - you all rock