Today it has really hit me - we have lost our baby. I feel so sad. Yesterday I had some philosophical moments about it all, but this morning it is like walking through fog. This might have been our only chance of having a baby. It's been nine long years with so much pain and disappointment. My heart is breaking.
What a roller-coaster - I never thought I would make it past LTTTC, then I had the most amazing news just before Christmas and found my August BellyBuddies. Now I'm here sharing your losses. Still waiting for the bleeding to start but still have all my pregnancy symptoms... I want it to end but I don't want it to be over
Alice hun I am so sorry that you are feeling this pain after so much joy such a short time ago. I don't know what to say sorry lovely just keep your chin up & be strong in yourself. Cry your heart out when you need to, talk when you need to (you are surrounded by friends here all hours of day & night) & look after yourself.
Alice, I just want to give you a big hug. Darl, this is a really hard experience to deal with. My heart goes out to you. I totally understand how you feel, I have experienced this twice before and am in the same boat as you as we speak. Was also due in August and now waiting to miscarry. We are here for you whenever you need us.
xx
Thank you Tanya, Lissy, Loula. I can't stop crying. My mum has been with me all day - she's just gone home. I tried to have something to eat but I feel so sick and miserable. I'm so disappointed and sad. It's not that I have a bad life or anything - I have lovely friends and family - it just feels a bit empty and a bit meaningless without the bub - don't know why it matters so much, just does. I was showing Mum the pics from Christmas in Melbourne and seeing the beaming smiles on our faces and I felt crushed. DH was so so excited and pleased. He's been lovely - very attentive and gentle but he has to go to work and I miss him terribly. Have rung the Dr to see when I can have the D&C done. I can't go on like this for weeks waiting - it's too much. And then I read how hard it is to recover and know that it will go on for weeks anyway. It's such a different type of grief and disappointment to our negative IVF results. I guess having had weeks of all these pregnancy symptoms and all the ideas that start to form in your head of what might come make it difficult in a different way. I'm going to try to get some rest now. Thankyou for your kind thoughts and replies - they mean a lot to me. Alice x
Oh Babyjo, I'm so sorry. So kind of you to share that with me when you must be going through so much yourself. Big hugs to you too. x
I know it must be so hard for you right now. To a certain degree I understand, I had my MC not even a week ago at 13 weeks & D&C just yesterday (in 8am & home by 3pm). I havent gone through the years of waiting & hoping & heartbreak that you have had to endure, but I totally understand about greiving the loss of what you imagined the future to hold for you and your angel. The hopes & plans we start to set ourselves up with, that all of a sudden aren't going to happen - I was talking to my SIL about breastfeeding & nappies about 1hr before I started bleeding . I cant offer any advice as far as the emotional healing goes, I think it just gets a little better every day. And I can certainly say the comfort & support on here goes a long way towards healing.
But I can offer some insight into the D&C. Like I said above I had mine just yesterday. I didn't have any pain, just tired & bored out of my brain sitting in hospital bed until they released me yesterday afternoon, & apart from the MC nightmare I had before waking up from anaetheisia after surgery it was very non-eventful. Dr's orders were 2 days of taking it very easy, 1 more day off work, then back to work monday. So physical recovery is generally very quick.
Everyone has different reasons, my reason for choosing to have D&C were the cramps & bleeding I was still having, BUT mainly because I felt I couldn't start to move forward while it was still happening.
If you feel up to it I would suggest looking at some of the other posts on here about D&C & peoples experience's with it. It helped me make my mind up about it.
Again lots of for you & your other half. Make whatever decision feels right for you lovely. You will have everyone's support.
Miscarriage after LTTTC
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