Hi everyone. I'm sorry that we are all here but I hope we can all get strength & support from each other.
I apologise if I'm in the wrong thread but I really want to get everything off my chest but don't want to burden anyone who doesn't understand. When I was 21 I had my beautiful girl, there were no major complications & I ended up marrying her dad & trying for more kids. We actually got pregnant on our honeymoon! But at 12wks 4 I started spotting & was sent for u/s which showed a 9 wk bub with no heartbeat. The next day I had a d&c & 4 mths later we conceived again. The GP I saw to confirm the pregnancy was matter of fact & didn't seem to understand my fear. At 9wks I developed sharp pain & spotting & an u/s showed no baby but a lap confirmed an ectopic & I lost my left tube. I was a mess. It took its toll on my already fragile, emotionally nonexistent marriage & we split 3 mths later -19 days after our 1st wedding ann. Fast forward 10 yrs later & I'm in a much better place emotionally, with a loving partner & my DD who's 12 this week & we're TTC & I am excited but also very petrified! I want to share my life with this fantastic man & each month when I O I get excited that this might be it! but this month my heart is pounding, I feel so anxious & want to cry. We're currently in the 2ww so I have another 10 days or so of this emotional roller coaster. What happens if we do fall pregnant & the pregnancy isn't viable. I don't want that loss, that stress. I know I'm being unreasonable & that my story is nothing compared to what so many of you have experienced but I don't know how to snap out of it. Please tell me I'm normal???
I was so excited and looking forward to joining this forum and sharing my journey, but it all seemed to come to a crushing end on Monday. We went for our first 10wk scan and to our horror and what my gut feelings had been telling me for the last week, bub stopped growing at 5wks Doc was soooooo kind and caring. He wants me to wait till next Monday and have another scan to make sure we havent got our dates wrong and that bub hasn't grown before he performs the d&c on Tuesday. I know the dates aren't wrong cause my last period was the 10th Jan and 3 days after my period didn't come I tested positive to a home preg test. He doesn't think I will miscarry naturally cause it's already been 6wks since bub stopped growing and my body still has all the pregnancy symptoms. It's just heart breaking knowing my body still has to go through this and knowing there will be nothing at the end of it.
Doc said it was probably due to a chromosome not joining properly, BUT I can't help think was it something I did? Like did I exercise to much and over heat the bub? Was it because I had a massive boozy night and had a kebab the week before I found out I was preggers? Is there something wrong with me or my eggs?? The list could go on!
My question is, after a d&c how soon after can you start trying again? I'm 35 (first child) and don't want to wait too long cause of my age and am hoping for 2 kids before 38.
Glad you found the thread, optimist. Lovely you have found someone you can relate to IRL
Welcome TickToc. I am so sorry for your losses You are so very 'normal' to have those fears and anxieties after having miscarried in the past. IMO thinking the worst is a way of protecting ourselves. Almost like if you expect the worst any 'bad' result cant be any worse ITMS!
Welcome Trinkle- Stein, Im sorry your little one didnt stay but dearly hope your dates are a bit out and there is a little heartbeat next week Limbo is such a tough place to be. My body did something very similar when I miscarried.
FWIW nothing you you did cause this to happen. It happens far too often and mostly for undetermined reasons.
Depending on what your Doctor advises as to when you can start TTC again, It varies from person to person, Dr to Dr. For us there was no recommendation, in which case as long as you and your partner are ready than thats what counts.
Well we had our second scan on Monday and unfortunately the scan showed the same as last Monday, bub hadn't grown which resulted in a missed miscarriage, so went in yesterday for a d&c. Out little angel is now in heaven with its poppy
The staff at Murdoch were absolutely wonderful and caring and I couldn't ask for a better Ob! He is so caring!
Is it normal to feel numb and empty? I just don't have any emotions right now! Is this my body or brains way of protecting me or will it hit me tomorrow?
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Hopes crushed
Doc was soooooo kind and caring. He wants me to wait till next Monday and have another scan to make sure we havent got our dates wrong and that bub hasn't grown before he performs the d&c on Tuesday. I know the dates aren't wrong cause my last period was the 10th Jan and 3 days after my period didn't come I tested positive to a home preg test. He doesn't think I will miscarry naturally cause it's already been 6wks since bub stopped growing and my body still has all the pregnancy symptoms. It's just heart breaking knowing my body still has to go through this and knowing there will be nothing at the end of it.
Limbo is such a tough place to be. My body did something very similar when I miscarried. 
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