OK time for my introduction. Im Kate married with one darling daughter aged 6. In September last year my husband and I decided we would like to try for another baby. We had the all clear from the dr, and the blood tests for both of us came back clear so we got straight into it. On 7 December I poas and saw my very faint little line, at that moment we fell in love. On the 23rd December we had a scan and everything looked great, we measured 5 weeks. We were advised to come back in two weeks for another scan to make sure of progress. On the 6th of January we returned, there was nothing, just an empty, lonely sac. We were advised to talk to the Dr. That same say the Dr confirmed our fears we were going to miscarry. She didnt tell us anything else just simply explained that someone from EPAS at the hospital would call to check on how we were. A lovely, kind hearted lady from EPAS called me on the 7th to see how we were. She arranged the necessary blood tests, another ultrasound etc. She explained to me time frames, hcg levels and what i need to prepare myself for. We waited and waited and waited and then finally on the 16th I had my ultrasound to triple check for failure to progress to pregnancy. The technician pushed on my belly, she pushed so hard that I had a show of blood immediately. I have a negative blood type so I need to present to ED as soon as possible after any blood loss, knowing this I go to ER, arrange for our daughter to go for a long weekend sleepover at the grandparents place and settle in. Two hours later i'm released and told to come back the next day for an examination and D and C. I was fasting from 1am Friday (17th Jan) morning, we went into the hospital waited until 7pm then I was told it was time for my procedure. I kissed my husband goodbye, hugged my twin and we all knew our baby was about to grow it's wings. That was 5 days ago and I still feel like i'm in the bed waiting for them to come and tell me it's go time. Well thats my story, sorry it's a bit of a novel isnt it. Long story short I make angels as well as babies so i'm extra crafty. I miss my angel and I know this is only the beginning but it hurts.
it does get easier with time. some days you may find that its a little better and then other days you will want to cry your eyes out. just remember you have all the support here when you need it. there are still days i find it hard to cope with but then i think about all that i have to be greatful for. always here for you if you need someone to chat to!
It was at least two weeks before I could concentrate let alone feel okay. In fact I reckon it was a month at least before I felt somewhat myself and until my next period arrived before I was doing okay - and then there are other reminders - like the due date and then Mother's Day (the first one that I was supposed to be a mother). It's really hard. But life does continue and you will find a way to get through it. It's still early days now though - so be okay with the varied emotions that come - one thing I learnt about - grief is all encompassing for a while there.
Big hugs hun xoxo
I'm in same boat as you right now I don't know when I'll feel better! You think I'd be used to it being mc #7 but every single time it lands me on the floor when I swear to myself i wont let it!
I'm actually spending some time alone just to try n breath and have some thinking space.
That has Helped me a bit.
Time does help eventually but I don't know if it goes completely.
How are you feeling now?xoxo
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My baby grew wings
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