I'm so sorry for your friend's loss, but she sounds lucky to have you in her life.
As hard as it is, just try and be yourself, I'm sure she would appreciate people not tip-toeing around her. talk about her bub, and offer a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. Ask her if there is anything at all you can do, often people will say no, but make sure she knows you are there anytime she may need you.
A plant or something to remember her bub by, like a memory box or something, sounds like a great idea. There is also someone who writes their names in the sand, I can't remember who/where they are, but I'm sure someone on BB can help you out there if you wanted to do something like that for your friend.
You sound like a great friend, and I hope she can soak up your support and kindness to help her come to terms with what has happened.
Thanks again for all your advice and kind words. You are all such lovely caring people. BB makes the world a better place. My friend doesn't have a computer at home, but I will offer for her to use mine and come to BB if she chooses.
Dory - thank you for your post. That is exactly the type of advice I was looking for. I am the type of person who often "thinks" about someone, but don't always follow through with actions for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing, or appearing foolish. Your post is so helpful in this regard and it has given me the courage to go and visit my friend tomorrow without being concerned about my own insecurities. If my friend doesn't want to talk to me or something, she will tell me, but it is up to me to reach out and let her know I am there for her.
My goodness Dory, that is just so spot on. I am so sorry you have come to know this journey so well. So very sorry hun.
Starfish, you are a precious friend and I hope your friend heals with the time she needs.
My advice is to listen to her....I know that seems vague but it has been my biggest issue. I have been very open about what i need and that is space and time. That has not always been respected. It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking she might be going mad...and to some extent that is true. She needs to hear that she is normal, this is all normal. As tragic as it is, she is normal and what she is feeling is normal. But i couldn't agree more with Dory, actions speak louder than words. By space i mean space but not to be forgotten either. There will be a lot of damned if you do and damned if you don't so dory's advice on being strong and patient with your friend could not me more accurate.
take care of yourself hun and what ever you do, be honest enough with yourself and your friend that if you get stuck and don't know what to do, say so, don't give up and let it go. She already feel like her world is falling apart.
Love HM xoox
Registered User
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks