Oh Kate. I'm sure many can sympathise. I lost my baby at 19 weeks in 2007 and I was just bathing my son when I heard Neighbours in the background. To be honest, I had to turn it off. Whilst I cope much better with the grief now, it still comes back in heartbreaking strength sometimes. Something will trigger a memory and I feel like it all happened yesterday. My DH and I also want to add to our family but I don't feel ready yet, and somedays, I'm not sure I ever will??? I'm petrified of suffering another loss. It's taken such a toll on us. But, in saying that, had we not tried again, we wouldn't have had our DS who has brought more to our lives than we could ever have imagined. Allow yourself to grieve and know that it's normal to have bigger waves of grief at certain times or when certain memories are triggered. Big hugs to you and I hope you find your way through this difficult time.