Thank you all so very much for your kindness. I feel I should clarify something though. When my best friend went over my clinical notes she didn't come out and say "you have no leg to stand on", she said they'd made it very difficult to break through, and that it would be a hard road if I wanted to take it further... My GP said this also. I don't feel the anger as fiercely as I did when this was all fresh, and although I know I probably "should" get a lawyer and see just how hard it is going to be, I honestly don't feel I have the energy. My heart is slowly beginning to heal and I think the energy I do have I need to spend on nurturing myself and preparing my body and mind for when we decide to start trying again... I know I'll need a centeredness and mountains of strength when that time comes. I have learned alot from this experience and although I stil believe in my heart it didn't have to end like this, I'm trying to bundle all the hurt into a bubble of love and move forward, taking what I have learned with me because I know fighting won't bring her back.
Don't get me wrong, somedays I want to yell and scream (and usually I do) but I feel this way I can save myself from the ugliness of it all and focus on becoming a healthy, happy and calm space for my next baby to feel safe to grow within.
Thankyou all again so much, to know that support is out there truely does make a huge difference, love