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Thread: My Story

  1. #1
    kirsty Guest

    Default My Story

    Here you go Mel, you asked for it!!!



    My story goes a little bit like this:

    DH (who was DP & also DF during this time) & I first decided we'd like to try for a baby in 1999. We'd been together for 4yrs & living together for 18mths, we had huge long discussions about it all before we decided we really were ready. Unfortunately for us falling pregnant wasn't as easy as making the decision that we'd like to. It took us 3yrs & some help along the way (but that is a whole other story), eventually we fell pg & had a beautiful baby boy at 32wks pregnant.

    Fast forward to our baby boys 1st birthday where discussions have been taking place as to whether we'd like to start trying for #2 ~ hey after our first attempt we figured we had loads of time before it happened. Our plan of action was once my mini-pill ran out in October that I wouldn't bother getting the script refilled & we'd go from there. All was fine, we were busy planning our suprise wedding for December & enjoying being parents to our gorgeous son.

    December 12th ~ the eve of our wedding for some strange reason I decide to do a HPT & what do you know it was a BFP!!! Absolutely beside myself I tell DF to look after James (who was in bed) while I raced down to Safeway to buy another HPT to do in the morning ~ told DH I needed something for tomorrow & he believed me.

    December 13th ~ yep it's certainly a BFP ~ WOOHOO it only took us 2mths this time. Decide we're not telling people just yet ~ but when it came out afterwards loads of people who were at the wedding went "no wonder you weren't drinking".

    From here on in pregnancy progresses well. Dr very happy with results & only glitch on the horizon is my BP which started to rise from the time I was 13wks pg (happened in my first pg too but it was 23wks) however medication helped keep it under control. Scans all showed a perfectly healthy & normal bubs & all else was great & we were given an EDD of August 20th, 2004 ~ our reaction was to laugh at that. When asked what were we laughing at our answer was it is our first sons 2nd birthday on August 21st!!

    March 16th ~ DH & I DTD the nite before & I wake up feeling awfully "wet" down there, at first put it down to the fact that we had had sex the nite before, but eventually wasn't so sure. DH was meant to be going to work but instead rang them & said he was taking me to the Dr. He then rang our Dr who said to come in straight away (this was 7:30am on a Saturday morning) he checked me out & then sent me to the hospital ~ right across the road ~ & organised the u/s guy to come in & do an u/s. So with the u/s done everything looks ok to the best of their knowledge. When we quizzed the u/s tech about the amount of fluid around bubs he tells us he can't be sure as there is no measure for how much there should be at this stage (approx 16wks) but that there appears to be enough. Dr tells me to go home, start maternity leave immediately & to do no heavy lifting & rest lots ~ not sure he remembered that we had a very active 18mth old in the house???

    Okay so on Dr's orders everything agains seems to be going well & without my MIL's help I'm sure we wouldn't have made it as far as we did. She was fantastic helping to look after James when DH was at work.

    Fast forward to March 23rd ~ had another leak, DH was due home in 20mins so decided just to wait until he was home to get him to take me to the ED of our hospital. MIL picks up James & takes him for the nite ~ this happened at about 7:30pm ~ & the Dr tells me it is probably a bladder infection which can cause pg women to leak occasionally. I however am not convinced. They check my BP which was unbelievably high, 167/ 104, give me more medication & tell me to try & calm down. Eventually they agree to admit me for the nite if nothing more than to try & get some rest.

    March 24th ~ Dr orders another u/s which shows no fluid left around our baby at all. I start bawling my eyes out as they take me back up to the ward. Meet our Dr in the hallway in his surgery scrubs ~ it was deemed important enough to disrupt him with the results immediately ~ he is busy making a phone call & telling someone to organise an ambulance & to contact my DH ~ who had gone to work coz we figured it wouldn't be that bad. How wrong were we. Dr explains that he doesn't know what to do & is sending us to an OB in the next town. We get over there & my Mum was waiting ~ DH had phoned her while he went home to get changed ~ we had to wait for a bit to see the OB. Once we saw him he told us he had seen our u/s results but that to double check he would like to do another one in the morning, he then went on to explain our options to us if we there was still no fluid around bubs.



    They went something like this: #1 go home & wait for Mother Nature to take its course; #2 stay in hospital & see how far we could make it into the pg but we were warned that if we chose this option our baby would most likely not live very long anyway as the main role of the fluid is to help bubs lungs mature & grow & without doing that they wouldn't be able to function enough to be able to cope; & #3 a termination was given as our final choice. We sat up all nite discussing the pros & cons of every choice we had been given. Finally after much heartache we reached our decision based on the u/s results in the morning.

    March 25th ~ u/s shows no fluid & for the final time I see our little baby moving with its heart beating away madly ~ that was nearly my undoing there & then. OB came to see us & to tell us that in his opinion our baby didn't stand a chance of survival ~ we tell him we have decided on a termination then. He comes back later that afternoon to insert the tablets that he uses for this & tells me to try & relax & he'll be back later that nite for the next lot of tablets. I am surrounded by my Mum, my Dad (just a short visit but very much appreciated) & my wonderful DH. Contractions kick in about 9pm ~ nothing too major at this stage. OB is back at 11pm & by now the contractions are pretty intense while he does the next lot of tablets he tells us he thinks bubs will be born by 2am ~ labour really kicks in & finally I ask for pain relief. Move forward to watching a stupid Jaws movie on the TV & I feel a need to push ~ DH runs out of room to get midwife & after about 10mins of pushing our beautiful second son, Alex was born our angel boy at 1:25am on March 26th, 2004. We had photos, footprints & his clothes to take with us & a heart full of memories & love created in 24hrs.

    Move forward to today 20mths since all this happened to us & we are still trying for another baby after being assured that what happened to Alex isn't likely to happen again. I have my doubts at times that I am ever going to have the joy of another baby in my life, but for now I am not ready to give up my dream.

  2. #2
    Melody Guest

    Default

    Kirsty, I am so sad you had to go through this.... there are no words. I'm sorry.....

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    melton, victoria
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    kirsty i am not normally an emotional person but right now i am in tears,you know what you had to do and you did it i cant beleive the strength and courage you had,biggest hugs to you and dh and your son
    nikki

  4. #4
    jaggard Guest

    Default

    Isn't life awful sometimes. I'm so sorry you have experienced such heartache. Big Hugs!
    Praying that you get a BFP soon [-o<

  5. #5

    Default

    Oh Kirsty I couldn't imagine to ever have to go through this and make the decision that you and your DH had too. How heart breaking and distressing to see your little man on the u/s knowing that he wasn't going to make it... you are very brave and strong... i hope you get that BFP soon sweetie as you deserve it...

    love and hugs

    leis xxx

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Country NSW
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    291

    Default

    Kirsty,

    Your story just wrenched me, You are definately a strong person. I am so sorry you had to go through such thing

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    in the valley of cuddles with mountains of smiles
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    Kirsty {{hugs}}
    I am so sorry for what you went through.
    thanks for sharing your story it must have been heartbreaking to lose your precious ~Alex ~
    My friend had pretty much a similar same situation and her daughter made it to 24wks but her lungs were still the size of a 17wker so she lived only 6 hrs.
    goodluck with testing

  8. #8
    Melinda Guest

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    Kirsty,

    I am SO pleased to see you share your story. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you and DH to have to make that heartbreaking decision.

    I truly admire your strength of character at TTC again and all the emotions and memories that must bring back for you.

    Thank you for sharing your story. Don't give up on your dream Kirsty - it's going to come true before you know it.

  9. #9

    Default

    Kirsty,

    You are an unbelievable person to have gone through this and are now TTC. I think you are a tower of strength!! hugs to you and your family.

    My old boss had that happen to her with twins at 26 weeks, but hasn't gone back.

    Thinking of you

    Take Care
    Katie

  10. #10

    Default

    Kirsty,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us,

    I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been to come to the decision you and DH did.

    You are such an amazingly strong person and I know oneday you will have a healthy baby in your arms once again.

    Love

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Mid North Coast NSW
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    Kirsty, I cant begin to imagine the heartache you have been through.

    Thank you for sharing your story - I hope you get a BFP very soon.

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    Down by the ocean
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    Kirsty

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
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    What an amazing woman you are...
    I wish you a healthy baby in your arms again soon.
    With love,
    Deb

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    near the water
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    Kirsty,
    Your story was told with such emotion, I read it with goosebumps having to have made similar decisions. You are amazing.
    Bec

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