I thought I was over it, obviously not. I find myself waking up in tears after dreaming of that terrible day... Some days are good, other I don't even want to get up in the morning. My heart breaks over again every time I think about it, every time i see a pregnant woman, every time i see a newborn baby. I wish it would stop. I don't feel an ounce of happiness. Why? When I was given this precious gift that I wanted so bad. I should feel happy that i was chosen to be the mother of this beautiful life. Yet all I can think of is why was my angel taken from me? From the moment I saw those 2 lines I fell in love, but was it not enough? I feel terrible for thinking this way. I feel selfish for feeling sad, when I should be happy for having the opportunity to carry this little one, even for only a short time. Will the pain ever stop? I don't think it will... I feel I could have done more to save my angel. I was blessed with Lily after finding out i was pregnant with her only 6mths beforehand. During the time I had not known about her I did everything i could possibly do wrong. I ate and drank the wrong things, i had x-rays, i took medication that is not reccomended in pregnancy, i even went on rollercoasters at a theme park when i was about 8 weeks along. So why couldn't this one have lived when I did most things right? I feel I have only myself to blame and I know I shouldn't but it is hard not to. I would give almost anything to have my angell back with me. If only it were that simple...