Keike, I'm so sorry you're feeling like you're having your nose rubbed in it... I can definitely understand. Hide those posts and vent away babe, whatever keeps you sane - you need to grieve the way that suits YOU, if people can't understand that then they're the ones with the problem. It's not that you're unhappy about *their* happiness, you're feeling ripped off and asking 'why not me?' and that's a completely valid feeling!
The names you and the Professor chose for your little babies are beautiful. I'm so sorry that Finley, Devon, Quinn and Addison couldn't stay with you and be born safe into your loving arms. Thinking of you. xx
Beautiful names you have picked out hunni and i didnt mean to sound over defensive before and ive never admitted this before but yep i do over expose my pregnancies because i am covering up something and i am ashamed to say this but i do resent my earth babies because i want anthony and i cant have him here. Anyway not about me but i just re-read my post and it came across a little defensive when i didnt mean it to.
Thinking of you regularly and sending lots of happy, positive vibes your way xoxo
Check out Names in the Sand. They do great babyloss memorial photos. There are other sites too that do memorial jewelery. Maybe get a bracelet or necklace with their names or a birthstone. For our first angel, i got a suncatcher with the edd birthstone. I have a necklace with Leo's name and ashes.
Doing a balloon release can help. We recently did one where we blew into a balloon and put in all our love and pride through our breath, then we wrote a note on the balloons to our son and released them.
Ohhhh hun, i remember that feeling like it was yesterday. Your world really does stop. Don't swallow your grief for the sake of not embarassing others. Reach out, and you might be surprised who grabs your hand. I too would silently resent those who tried to gloss over my mc. One day I'd just had enough and stopped trying to protect others at my expense. Since that day it slowly got easier. If someone is gushing about their baby news, tell them you can't bear it. Ask for their consideration and for them to acknowledge the deep hurt that stems from the loss of a child. If they feel awkward, too bad. As you said, your baby was a person and should be remembered.
There's nothing nasty about your vent at all and you're entitled to your feelings. As for not knowing the sex, I also found this particularly hard to get past. I had a name in mind right from the beginning though, which was unisex. Hence my username. Shelby. I'm here for shelby, because of shelby, and everything I do is in honour of Shelby. Including reaching out to you right now. I don't know if any of what I've said has helped but your post just sounded so raw I wanted to offer you some support.
Totally understand how you're feeling, I think it's a wonderful idea to name your babies personally I don't have the balls to but I think it's just so beautiful.
In the last 3 months litterally 1/2 my friends on FB have had babies someone actually asked how I was going and if we're still trying, I kinda had an emotional vomit moment and haven't heard from her since, oh well!
You're a fabulous woman Keike. And a fabulous mother too, why?, because you love and care for your babies regardless of their outcome in life, regardless of their gender or gestation in your womb. You're words sounded so familiar to me, but from what feels like a long time ago. I'm in a very different boat to you now, but strangely we're floating to the same destination, what we feel we were put on Earth to do.
You know you're limits, so set what feels right for you AND make no apologies. I don't have any advice I guess, and am probably one of those people you don't want to see right now, but in MY world your babies are just as important and deserving of recognition as mine.
Much love and laughter for the beautiful future that awaits you.
xxoo
Much apologies as I failed to read your sig properly. Stong, unforgettable names, perfect really. FWIW my first miscarriage we named Sunny, and it will always be that way, BUT that is only something BB knows. We've opted to keep it private in real life.
Last edited by Sunny Love; January 13th, 2011 at 02:57 PM.
: names
Keike - what absolutely stunning names you have for your garden babies.... I am glad you feel a little better after honouring your babies in such a beautiful way.... GL with your EDD that you mentioned in your first post.
Tashy mentioned a memorial site - it used to be called to write their names in the sand - the work that carly does in memory of her son christian, just brings so much beauty to bereaved parents. Another site I really think is beautiful is "Waterfall Angels" and also "Rory's Garden". There are loads of other sites that can help you memorialise your precious babies.
I've read what everyone has written and I can't add too much ( for a change) I agree mostly with Tashybabe, Starbright ( heya girl, long time since we've caught up - hope you're doing ok) and Forshelby.
Grieve as you need to, as in doing so you honour your precious babies. Don't be bottling that grief up, and especially not for the sake of others. Now is the time for you to be selfish my dear.
Ooh, my threads been revived Thank you so much ladies, I'm doing much better now, I'm much more at peace now that we've named them. A beautiful BB member *cough* Eluned *cough* sent me a gorgeous pair of hand knitted booties, and I've decided to frame them with the plush heart we were given at the hospital, and I'll put the babies names in there as well
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someone actually asked how I was going and if we're still trying, I kinda had an emotional vomit moment and haven't heard from her since, oh well!
Thank you so much ladies, I'm doing much better now, I'm much more at peace now that we've named them. A beautiful BB member *cough* Eluned *cough* sent me a gorgeous pair of hand knitted booties, and I've decided to frame them with the plush heart we were given at the hospital, and I'll put the babies names in there as well
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